Yelling less- My one- week challenge! Day # 1

Yelling less- My one- week challenge! Day # 1

In less than a week, my darling daughter will turn 7. This past year has been memorable for many things, but I will save all of that for another post. This one is about how I found myself yelling at her more and more 🙁

The triggers are silent, deadly and are rarely seen: a long time to finish eating, the constant need to talk while doing EVERYTHING, never putting toys back in their place…you get the drift. I am a bit annoying (okay, VERY annoying) when it comes to schedules and cleanliness. My house isn’t spotless, mind you, but I need things in their places. I hate rushing around looking for stuff at the last minute. Probably the way I am wired.

My daughter is what I would describe as a free spirit. She likes to do things at her pace, in her own way. For most of the time, I believed that I let her do that. But, examining a typical day, I noticed how many times I used the words, ‘No’ and ‘Don’t’ when she asked something. That must be so frustrating to hear!

Things really came to a head a couple of days ago, when I completely lost my temper and yelled at her for being irresponsible, careless and useless! 🙁 Yes, I said those things to a 6-year-old. The cooling down period after that outburst left me shaken and subdued. I realised I needed help. Thanks to a couple of friends(‘A’ who blogs here and ‘V’), I turned to two great sources: The Orange Rhino challenge and an e-book version of this book.

Day 1:

I started with the simplest of rules:

Listen carefully and with complete attention
It is very tempting to keep reading that book or complete reading that interesting article on your laptop, when the child is in a mood to jabber.

Today, I decided I would physically turn myself away from whatever I was doing and focus on what she had to say. It wasn’t easy, mind you. But I did it! I looked into her eyes each time, as she glowingly told me about the star she had received for neat handwriting that day ( for about the fifteenth time 🙂 It was amazing how calm I stayed during the repeated statement :):)

Acknowledge her statements with a nod/ a look

She was finishing her glass of milk. As she came down to the last quarter of the milk, she started whining, ‘I can’t have any more. I am too full.’

Today, I just looked at her with a smile and said, ‘Oh?’

She repeated the statement. I responded with , ‘ I see.’
She said it a third time, but with far less conviction. I merely looked at her, still smiling.

Then I asked her, ‘ Do you feel well enough to finish it?’ She said, ‘Okay, I can do that. I feel fine.’

And just like that, the milk disappeared into her system! And all without raising my voice or even an eyebrow!

Wish me luck as I undertake this challenge! Daily updates will follow (I hope) 🙂

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Read more on my weekly challenge here:

You can read all about my ‘Yelling Less’ journey under this tab.

Featured image courtesy: Shutterstock

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20 thoughts on “Yelling less- My one- week challenge! Day # 1

  1. Go for it Shailaja 🙂 I never thought you needed this one, but great that you're taking the bull by the horns if so!
    I've been meaning to write a blog post on this, but I don't feel inspired enough to take up the challenge when I know I'll have a million Day 1s!! So I'm just doing a silent watching out as of now, let's see how it goes :). Good to have company ;).

  2. Thanks Aparna! Yes, I really need this. And I can really use some company too 🙂 I have roped in another friend too, so the more the merrier! Thanks for the support again!

  3. Hi Akka,
    This is the same situation i am also facing with my son. I keep yelling at him even for trivial matters like keeping the toys in place do your homework , eat fast etc. i want to change but the effort i take becomes futile the moment he doesn't do his work or listen to me. i will surely check your website for a change i need to take better care of my son.
    Thanks
    Sailakshmi

  4. ShyveeJuly 24, 2013 at 10:27 AM

    Sri Lakshmi,

    It is great that you can even admit that you yell at him. That is the first step- realisation. And the road isn't easy, mind you. But, yes, definitely take up the challenge. It is very fulfilling!

  5. hi…Ur aricle has really worked wonders for me.. my angel is 2 yrs old now but can sometimes just get on ur nerves especially when it comes to having her food..At first i screamed, yet , and even spanked her..but all she would do was cry and go running to my MIL. I didn't understand how i could make this situation better..Thanks to your blog..my child seems to listen to me more when i don't yell at her…

  6. Being told “irresponsible, careless and useless” – that sounds like a big “OUCH!” on both your and her part. However, I am glad that it helped you to remedy the situation and come up with some useful strategies. I am glad that you overcame the urge to yell and admired how you kept your cool! 🙂 <3

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