If I could change…

If I could change…

Today’s prompt is: ‘If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?’

That’s a tricky one. Let’s take this hypothetically, for now. Assume that I am an introverted, withdrawn, shy person, who prefers her few close friends to a slew of many, not-so-close ones. Now, suppose I decide to change that about myself. Then, I become this sociable butterfly, flitting into conversations seamlessly, staying up to date on the fashionable trends and becoming an engaging, gregarious talker. So, what happens now? The close friends realise that you don’t fit into their well-knit fabric anymore and slowly, you separate yourself from the group.

On the other hand, assume that I am a brash, outspoken person who cares tuppence what people think and go around, voicing my ideas to the world at large. Let’s say I decide to change that about myself. Then, I become more conscious, watch my words, weigh my thoughts and tread carefully on people’s feelings. What happens then? The ones who despised you initially are going to say that you’re putting on a show for the benefit of a select few.

The interesting fact about change is this: no matter what you change about yourself, there will always be someone out there who has a problem with the way you are. It doesn’t matter what you do. How people perceive you is never going to be a ‘Win-Win’ situation. Even the saints of the world aren’t spared. A kind thought, a good deed, a well-written article – all these are viewed as two-edged swords. There will be a group of readers who will comment, ‘ So what? It’s not like she’s the only one facing that’. And, they’re not wrong either.

What DOES matter, however, is the reason that you should choose to change.

If you must change, do it for yourself.

Not for your friends, not for your family, not for your well-wishers- just for yourself.

On that note, if there is one thing that I could change about myself, it is the way I have expectations about people, incidents and situations.

If I can let go of expectations, I can then be ready to face the possible outcomes without disappointment.

Ifย  I can do a task for the pleasure that it affords and with no other outcome in mind, then I can be sure that I will reap that pleasure.

If I can invest in a relationship with no demands placed on the other person, then the resultingย bond is sure to be more powerful.

If I can write a blog post, without worrying too much about the impact that it may have (or the views that it may get ;), then I can enjoy the writing process for what it holds.

If I can just BE, live in the moment, savour the pleasure that is right here, right now, then I think there is nothing left to change.

NaBloPoMo November 2013

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0 thoughts on “If I could change…

  1. “If you must change, do it for yourself.” It took me so long to realize this. For so long I was changing myself based on what I thought other people wanted from me. Now that I'm evolving for myself, I find that my choices make me much happier.

  2. Lovely blog Shailaja ๐Ÿ™‚ The reason for most of our frustration is we do what is expected of us rather than following our heart. And we believe that we will be loved or better accepted by doing that. How stupid can we get ! If I am not happy, how can I make others happy ?

  3. Thanks so much, Shailaja! Yes, isn't it amazing how much stock we put in other people's opinions? And we tend to get brow beaten and cowed down by those expectations, making us miserable, when we alone are responsible for our own happiness!

  4. Good one…with expectations – I faced a lot of disappointments when people did not reciprocate what they should have as I felt I deserved the same. I was there when they needed and they never realized when I was need. That frustration and disappointment made me very moody and I have absolutely changed and stopped expecting. I do if I want to do and don't expect anything in return. makes it simple better n easy

  5. Changing to please ourselves; letting go of expectations; living in the moment – simple, practical advice that is sometimes so difficult to live by. Thanks for the reminder.

    Karen

  6. Sometimes, the simplest of things are not that simple to follow, are they? And the people we meet don't make it easy either. But, it's a process and I'm learning ๐Ÿ™‚

    Thanks for stopping by ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. This reminds me of a quote I love from Brene Brown: โ€œBecause true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.โ€

  8. What a beautiful quote! That's going in my collection.

    And I have to say, I love your name! Conscious cacophony – that really is all it is-making sense of the noise ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. I really like what you wrote about the reason someone might choose to change. When I read this prompt, a whole bunch of negative things popped into my head. I decided I really didn't like that. I wrote about something else ๐Ÿ™‚

  10. Actually my first reaction to the prompt was more defensive. The notion that there's nothing wrong with the way I am, dominated more. Then I realized that I could do away with certain things that kept me from being happy.

  11. Whoa this post was really hit home for me. Letting go of expecatations is really important. I never really thought of it that way. What a burden to be lifted! I will have to give that a shot.

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