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Category: Relationships

Self-Worth: How a school assignment helped me

Self-Worth: How a school assignment helped me

How many of you suffer from lack of self-worth? How many of us play the blame game when it comes to our performance? In short, how often do you fall prey to the impostor syndrome?

Impostor syndrome is a belief that negates the self. It’s the belief that you are not good enough and everything you’ve achieved is through a stroke of luck. In short, you honestly believe that you are inadequate and a complete failure.

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Togetherness: A decade and a half later

Togetherness: A decade and a half later

Stretching to try and get the stiffness out of my neck, I peer at the wall clock that chimes 9.30 p.m. I should be winding up work, getting to sleep, maybe reading a book but I am working late.

Fingers tap almost mechanically on the keyboard and I pause for a second. He is standing by my table with a raised eyebrow in enquiry. ‘Making tea. Want some?’

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Important Life Lessons from my Mother

Important Life Lessons from my Mother

As I write this post, I am sitting in one of the best places on earth- my mother’s living room. Gy has ten days off from school due to the festival here in India and a part of me really wanted to get away from it all, after weeks of preparation for exams and other stress-related concerns.

It’s been a week since I got here and it’s positively magical how worry evaporates when I am with my parents. Even as I type this  out, my mom is quietly moving about, doing her work, getting things done and attending to her family. Every once in a while she calls me or Gy to help her out with something.

Soaking in the love and warmth of this wonderful person, I realise that there are some incredible lessons I can learn by merely watching her.

Welcome People with Love

The second she knew that we were coming over to stay with her, she swung into action, buying all the food items she knew were our favourites and also setting up the Navarathri golu in preparation for the festival. You’d be surprised at the energy she exudes when it comes to cooking for the family or doing things for the people she loves. (Hint: She loves everyone; something that doesn’t come that readily to me, I confess)

Listen with rapt attention

Whether the person is one year old or ninety-two, she can listen to them with complete attention. I’m amazed at the reserves of patience she must have. But, I think it goes deeper than that. She is truly a person who believes that every person deserves to be heard. So while I may get a tad irritable when it comes to people talking non-stop, (yes, Gy, this means you and yes, I do love you)she will hear them out without a trace of annoyance. No wonder my daughter listens readily to her than she ever does to me.

Feed people with love

Moms appear to come pre-programmed to ensure that every person is well fed. Again, I personally don’t fall into this category. Cooking is one thing I shy away from, mostly because I don’t enjoy it as much as, say, cleaning the house. But my mom? She will ensure that you are eating something every 30 minutes- fruits or green tea or nuts or snacks or. . . you get the picture. Aside: If I come back home a few kilos heavier, you all know it wasn’t in my control.

Life Lessons_Mom_Love_Shailaja

Speak softly and kindly

I can’t remember the last time she raised her voice, if at all. It makes me wonder how resilient and loving she is, simultaneously. I’m the kind who likes to say something once, repeat it thrice and progressively increase my tone in strictness until it’s obeyed. Suffice to say that works not at all. The only thing it effectively achieves is mutinous glares from my daughter and a sense of tension that hangs in the air between us. Surprisingly, I used to be very soft and very kind too. Maybe becoming a parent has changed me. Time to remind myself of the person I used to be.

Embrace life with excitement

My mom’s close to 60. You wouldn’t think it to look at her. She’s always looked young for her age (a fact that I’ve never really forgiven her for!) But you should see the excitement she expresses for every aspect of life- meeting people, making new dishes, jet setting across town to teach songs and bhajans to people (she’s a singer) or giggling with me and my sister over memories from our childhood, sometimes late into the night. I appear to have forgotten that in this mad rush of work and school and managing life.

Always be ready to learn

My mom calls me up every other day to ask me if I can teach her the newest feature in Whatsapp or how to download a voice recording app or even how to make a dish I learnt from my husband! That child like enthusiasm is something I find significantly lacking in most adults. We are all so bent on saying that we know everything. To admit we don’t know is probably more liberating than we realise. This is one thing I strive for on a daily basis, at least on my professional journey. For this, I credit my mother completely.

At the end of the day, I realise that my best parenting journal has been right by my side all these 38 years, teaching by instruction and action, love and compassion. And it doesn’t take too much effort to be kind, compassionate and loving.

You just have to be open to everything; like my mom.

***

Images courtesy Shutterstock: Mom and Love

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Am I Making Enough Memories?

Am I Making Enough Memories?

It’s a holiday today, where we live. It doesn’t matter why it’s a holiday but it is one. Gy is home from school and as is classic, lolled around luxuriously in the warmth of the thick blankets till 8 am.

I let her do it since it’s a privilege she usually gets only on the weekends.

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