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Leaves in the wind
Falling
Rapidly
Shuddering

A shadow looms
I look up to see
The canopy of fright

Their perfect formation 
Visible every other day
Now scatters in disarray

Squawks of terror
As they flee from the predator

A ravenous hurricane


Photo Copyright: Njaj
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Written in response to YeahWrite’s GargleBlaster prompt #160
   This week's question: 
Why do birds suddenly appear?


Comments

comments

Categories: FictionYeah Write

Vidya Sury · May 4, 2014 at 5:30 pm

Nice! 🙂

Shailaja V · May 4, 2014 at 5:35 pm

Thank you 🙂

takeawalkinthewoods · May 4, 2014 at 5:39 pm

Hurricanes are scary.. they shake everything up!!

Shailaja V · May 4, 2014 at 5:43 pm

They certainly do! I have watched them on TV to know the destruction they wreak!

Pixie · May 5, 2014 at 4:13 am

Hurricanes are pretty scary!!
My sister has lived thru 3 now and all 3 were pretty bad!

geeta nair · May 5, 2014 at 4:45 am

Loved the way you portrayed the fear.

Shailaja V · May 5, 2014 at 6:27 am

That must be so unnerving. Each time, it can be so terrifying 🙁

Shailaja V · May 5, 2014 at 6:28 am

Thank you very much indeed, Geeta!

mridubala · May 5, 2014 at 8:17 am

Nicely done!

Shailaja V · May 5, 2014 at 9:09 am

Thank you Mriubala!

Ann Bennett · May 5, 2014 at 11:42 am

Animals do get on the move from a hurricane. They know what we cannot see. The wildlife here are disrupted, they are cutting trees nearby. The funniest thing is during hunting season, the deer and turkeys come to my fields and stay until the hunters leave. Good job with prompt.

Shailaja V · May 5, 2014 at 11:49 am

Thank you Anne. Yes, animals and their sixth sense are so incredible. Being in tune with Nature does that to them, I guess? How amazing and perceptive of those creatures to take refuge in your fields!

tnkerr · May 5, 2014 at 12:18 pm

I love the phrase “ravenous hurricane”. I have been in a few and the description is quite apt. Nicely done.

Mridubala · May 5, 2014 at 12:42 pm

My pleasure!
My short story for a contest,if you like please VOTE – http://tlng.me/1fhAn8H

theuncheshirewife · May 5, 2014 at 12:42 pm

great words & love that image you've chosen.

kaymetviner · May 5, 2014 at 1:10 pm

I really like your portrayal of the hurricane as a predator, and I can imagine how the birds would react because of it. I also love “a canopy of fright”. Great job!

psychochef · May 5, 2014 at 1:28 pm

This is beautiful, Shailaja. I like the phrase “the canopy of fright”. I also like that the predator is a hurricane. Karen

Shailaja V · May 5, 2014 at 2:01 pm

Ouch for having 'been in a few'! And thank you for picking out one of the phrases I enjoyed writing 🙂

Shailaja V · May 5, 2014 at 2:01 pm

Your words make me glad 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

Shailaja V · May 5, 2014 at 2:02 pm

Thank you Kay! Those two phrases 'canopy of fright' and 'ravenous hurricane' were my favourite lines too!

Shailaja V · May 5, 2014 at 2:02 pm

I can always count on you to lift my spirits, Karen 🙂 Thank you for that comment!

Sandy · May 5, 2014 at 2:36 pm

That's beautiful! Making a point to hit a different post each time I come back, lol. Yes, thank you for the follow, I am now following you too. I see what you mean about the difference on facebook; mine is just a personal page. Have a awesome Monday

Madhura · May 5, 2014 at 3:04 pm

I, too love 'canopy of fright' and 'ravenous hurricane' they are lovely phrases, jumped out at me.. You portrayed the fear beautifully…
*http://meetmissmoody.wordpress.com/2014/05/05/universe-in-me/

Renada Styles · May 5, 2014 at 6:02 pm

I could feel the tension of the storm building as I read this! The way you wrote it and the words you used took me straight into the heart of the storm.

Kir · May 5, 2014 at 6:23 pm

“canopy of fright” ..wow, what a gorgeous sentence.
You could hear /see/smell this scene, that's what makes it so good.

Christine Hanolsy · May 5, 2014 at 7:14 pm

Very cool way to answer the question. I like how you start close up with the leaves and then pan out to the birds and then the hurricane. It was very cinematic.

Gina · May 5, 2014 at 7:23 pm

The picture is stunning! It is so true and interesting what nature/animals sense when Mother Nature is about to change things up. This was exactly how Christine described. Such a scene was set!

Jen Brunett · May 5, 2014 at 8:39 pm

Such an ominous feeling here. Almost like I could hear the silence, the calm, before the storm. Nice!

Susan Shuman · May 5, 2014 at 10:09 pm

Beautifully written, and excellent take on the prompt.

sue · May 6, 2014 at 12:56 am

I missed you the first time went through the list

Golly be – you say so much in 42 words!
(don't know where the golly be came from…)

A Wrter · May 6, 2014 at 7:13 am

I think it is the perfect answer for the question….:)

thepurpleskye · May 6, 2014 at 7:14 am

Very well written.

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:26 am

Thaks for reading, Sandy! Yes, a public FB page is easier to manage.

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:26 am

Thank your very much, Madhura 🙂

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:27 am

Wow! That is quite the compliment! Glad I took you into the storm- figuratively, of course 🙂

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:27 am

Thank you so much, Kir! So happy to have you stop by 🙂

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:28 am

Thank you very much, Christine 🙂 So happy that you liked the way the scene was set 🙂

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:28 am

Aww, thanks Gina 🙂

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:29 am

That was what I was aiming for, Jen! Thrilled that it came across:)

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:30 am

Thank you very much for reading, Susan!

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:31 am

Ha ha.. Golly be, indeed 😀 Thanks for going back and finding me. Really appreciate it, Sue 🙂

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:41 am

Thank you for reading 🙂

Shailaja V · May 6, 2014 at 7:41 am

Thank you for saying so 🙂

whimsygizmo · May 6, 2014 at 7:11 pm

Great take on the prompt.

fromthelaundryroom · May 6, 2014 at 11:12 pm

The canopy of fright…I like that. Well done.

theinnerzone · May 7, 2014 at 2:40 pm

Some lovely phrasing in there, felt like I was there. Effective 42!

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