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A while ago, a very hurtful thing happened. Somebody I was very close to, said something unexpected. It was said in jest, but there was an element of truth to it.


I am not blaming the person. But it did happen.

So, what was the outcome? 

Did I withdraw into myself and feel hurt? Yes, I did.

Did I nurse a bit of resentment towards the person? Yes, I did.

Did I stop interacting with the person? No, I did not.

Because I believe that in our pain is our learning. From that hurt came an understanding, that all relationships are delicate and we need to tread carefully. We are what we make of ourselves. 

We can pick ourselves up and make things better. Or we can retreat into self- deprecation and the ‘victim’ complex, which, only hurts one person: the self.


Believe that there is a reason for your existence. 

Believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Let go of the hurt and embrace the lesson. Open up to love today.



Word count: 176

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Written for the A to Z 2014 Challenge

B is for Belief

My theme for the month is : Introspection in shades of 11

My recommended blogger for the day is Aditi Kausiva 
and her gripping tale ‘No more Black


Also linking this to the Ultimate Blog Challenge for April

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Comments

comments

Categories: A to ZLife Lessons

Nabanita · April 1, 2014 at 8:06 pm

You know when I'm hurt I find it very hard to forgive…Honestly I never… I think I need to really grow up or I'll be a resentful old hag one day..Liked the tone of the post!

Psych Babbler · April 1, 2014 at 10:47 pm

You're so right — avoidance does not help. Embracing the discomfort and the pain is what helps you eventually overcome it. 🙂

Roshni · April 1, 2014 at 11:53 pm

It's great when we can parse out whether the person said something that would help us improve! Glad you are objective about it and did not shut the person out of your life!

Swathi Shenoy · April 2, 2014 at 1:09 am

Though i know i should, i never forgive wen am hurt! hopefully i wil learn it aftr readin dis post atleast! nice read 🙂

Sreeja Praveen · April 2, 2014 at 3:05 am

Loved the conversational style here ; it is more like talking to others, all the while talking to oneself, which is of course the essence of introspection!
I used to find it very hard to forgive, too. And I used to get hurt very easily. But thankfully, over the years, some things happened which made me realise that any body can hurt me, unless I learn to stop getting hurt 🙂 So now, the case is different. But yes, I believe in the pain too. It is a sharp teacher 🙂

Beloo Mehra · April 2, 2014 at 4:00 am

Yes, pain can be a great way to move forward if we can allow the light to shine through the tiny crack that eventually does appear amidst all that hurt and resentment. A very good post.

tulika singh · April 2, 2014 at 4:33 am

I'd probably not be as grown up about being hurt as you were. I'd like o withdraw at least for a while before I can go back and talk to the person. In any case it's easier to forget than forgive.

Vidya Sury · April 2, 2014 at 4:38 am

You did the right thing. 🙂 It is always good to sleep over anything that hurts. 🙂

Aditi · April 2, 2014 at 4:49 am

Beautifully worded Shailaja and so true. You have to have the belief, the faith to get anything working!

taleoftwotomatoes · April 2, 2014 at 4:52 am

Nice write… Pain is an excellent teacher. It's hard to forgive when anybody is hurt. I try to forget. It's hard too. Bt atleast that makes things a lil peaceful fur me!

Corinne Rodrigues · April 2, 2014 at 5:15 am

You know what – I still believe it's alright for us to process the pain and forgive, but cut people out of our lives too when we know they're not good for us. I don't believe in playing pretend with some people.

Saru Singhal · April 2, 2014 at 6:04 am

It's a very dignified and mature way to look at things. Glad I stopped by.

Sushree Dash · April 2, 2014 at 6:23 am

It's so true ….every line depicts life in it . And ya our pain is our learning ….

iamstri · April 2, 2014 at 6:42 am

You are awesome in encouraging and motivating 🙂 🙂 Every line was so meaningful 🙂

Dr. Gauri Kekre · April 2, 2014 at 6:59 am

You said it right. Pain is indeed a great teacher. But some people on the pretext of being honest sometimes say the most downright insulting things to you. I mean, there has to be a better way of putting the truth forward, isn't it?

sulekkha · April 2, 2014 at 7:06 am

It is a difficult thing to do but the peace you feel later is worth it. I feel bad when friends hurt me, unintentionally or otherwise…following your advice now. Lovely post…

pinksocks · April 2, 2014 at 7:23 am

The fact that you accepted the bitter truth and that gave it in the face.
Kahaan tak yeh mann ke andhere chalenge, udaasi bhare din kabhi toh talenge 🙂
Keep going.

Rajlakshmi · April 2, 2014 at 7:45 am

wow you have a lot of strength… I on the other hand goes into a state of turmoil by any harsh word. Wise words

ileandraxraven · April 2, 2014 at 9:51 am

What a lovely post. If more people behaved in this way the world would be a much less dark place. 🙂

Damaria Senne · April 2, 2014 at 10:32 am

Sometimes I held onto the anger, especially from the childhood hurts where I felt people took advantage because I was young. But you're right… the only person who gets hurt from that is the self.

shiva kapoor · April 2, 2014 at 12:01 pm

Forgive and Forget …I second that thought..because I have come to realise that keeping a grudge only hurts me …Lovely post

belinda reger · April 2, 2014 at 12:19 pm

There is always light at the end of every tunnel and moving on and forgetting the hurtful things is the right thing to do.

Kathy Combs · April 2, 2014 at 1:06 pm

When I am hurt I tend to withdraw completely. I block people out of my life and go on without them in it. Sadly I have always been this way. It is a hard habit to change in myself. Although I forgive, I generally can't seem to forget. ♥ Somehow I always look at it as a sign that the time has come to move on.

Richa Singh · April 2, 2014 at 1:58 pm

Yes Pain has a way of life…and at times it helps us grow into better human beings, more equipped in many ways..

Richa

Found In Folsom · April 2, 2014 at 3:29 pm

It all depends, shailaja..you could grow out of it, you could go down out of it…the people, the situation and everything matters. you wrote in 176 words but there is a lot to discuss on this 🙂

Archana K B · April 2, 2014 at 3:30 pm

its very hard to translate pain into learning.. just like controlling the anger and many other characteristics, we need to have that habit.. I havent.. I still brood, and hope time will teach me those qualities…

Sheethal Susan Jacob · April 2, 2014 at 3:34 pm

I don't avoid people that hurt me… but keep a safe distance from them…

Ananya Tales · April 2, 2014 at 4:31 pm

So true, Sometimes people hurt us unintentionally but the pain is unbearable when they do it intentionally.
Nice post.

sitara nair · April 2, 2014 at 4:40 pm

I do forgive people,but not all of them and have a habit of nursing the pain….
Need to grow up ……..for that forgiving part

Danny Simon · April 2, 2014 at 4:42 pm

Well written! Life must go on! And most important thing is to never build walls around us because of past hurts!

Kajal · April 2, 2014 at 4:59 pm

Beautiful…I agree we must let the grudges and resentment wade away from our life…living with so much of negativity is hopeless

Alex J. Cavanaugh · April 2, 2014 at 5:24 pm

Only hurts self – that is so true. Holding a grudge doesn't hurt the other person, just us. And if we don't grow from it, we're stuck there forever.

Sunila Vig · April 2, 2014 at 6:14 pm

So true, its hard to let go but let go we must

ovengoodies · April 2, 2014 at 10:38 pm

Beautifully expressed, Shailaja. A hard lesson but one, I guess, I need to learn from you.

Monica

Mina Menon · April 3, 2014 at 9:33 am

forgive but d not ever forget .. saves u fro m getting in future

Proactive Indian · April 3, 2014 at 11:23 am

“The stupid neither forgive nor forget;
the naive forgive and forget;
the wise forgive but do not forget.”
― Thomas Szasz
I would add: if the person repeats it often, then remove her/him from your life.

Scattered Mama · April 3, 2014 at 4:39 pm

Gotta try to remember this..let go of the hurt and remember the lesson!….yu only grow that way! Well said Doting Mom!

nibhz · April 4, 2014 at 6:50 pm

could totally relate, I do it so often, this retreating into my shell thing!

Shilpa Garg · April 5, 2014 at 8:47 am

I agree, resentment and anger hurts only us! The other person may not even be aware of your inner turmoil. Recently when I learnt to Let Go of the pain that somebody gave me, I was so much at peace. I wish I had done that much earlier!

anuprabha v · April 5, 2014 at 3:14 pm

Beautifully expressed. It is easy to say forgive and forget, but can the pain be wiped away?

geeta nair · April 6, 2014 at 5:00 am

Relationships are indeed delicate. A wrong word, a wrong gesture can snap the thread that holds people together. It may take years to build a relationship. Yet, it may just take seconds to break it up.

Lovely post Shailaja.

Amrit Rukhaiyaar · April 15, 2014 at 6:04 pm

I think it is important to talk and let the other person know what hurt you… At times talking solves everything without making a dent.

Amritt

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