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Everyone loves routines. It calms us down, keeps things predictable and makes our lives simpler. As a mom, I’ve not consciously ever worked on this, but there are a few family rituals that have become part of our regular routine.

Some of these can involve the whole family, while others can be just between one parent and a child. Either way, the rituals are beautiful, because they form the most important backbone of positive parenting: Connection.

As our children grow older, the rituals may change, but the bonds that they create only serve to cement relationships in a way that nothing else can.

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Mom holding daughter and smiling. Family Rituals that connect parents and kids

Here are some of the family rituals I love and cherish and which you can easily practise with your own children too. The first one is something that we started a fortnight ago and I smile when I think how naturally it came about.

Bedtime Routines

Gy used to love having me braid her hair when she had flowing, long hair till she was about 8 years old. Soon after, she decided she wanted to chop off her locks in favour of comfort and ease. Just like that, the braiding had to stop. 

Once the hair grew back to a reasonable length I thought we could resume the ritual. Instead, something else happened. She began to untangle the knots, tie it up in a ponytail and do this all by herself.

I was torn between two conflicting emotions: Pride that she was now capable of doing it herself and disappointment that such an unique mom-daughter moment had just vanished in a trice.

That is, until a fortnight ago. One night she came up to me and said, ‘I have a request. Do you think you can do it for me?’

‘If I can, I definitely will. Tell me what it is.’

‘Could you untangle the knots for me every night before bed and braid my hair so it doesn’t get difficult for me to comb it out in the morning?’

My heart gave a tiny somersault of joy and I cautiously asked, ‘Are you sure? I thought you liked to comb it yourself.’

‘Well, I do. But I like to lean back on you at the end of the day and I am too tired to do it myself.’

I didn’t need to be asked twice!With immense happiness, I sat down to gently remove the knots, lift up the strands and braid them in the way that I knew how. And with every movement, I could feel the child in my arms relax and give herself over to the moment.

Giving Hugs

You may already be aware of the one ritual that I heartily endorse and that is the giving of hugs.

I call it the Gift that keeps giving.

We’re a family of huggers. Hugs are the way we express so many emotions right from joy to forgiveness.  Morning goodbyes at the school bus and bed time snuggles are incomplete without the mandatory hugs.

A hug says more than words can, at times. If you can, add  hugs into your daily routine and tell me how much better you feel at the end of the day.

Hygge Moments

In July this year, Gy turned 12 and as per a promise I made to her, she began drinking tea with me in the evenings. I truly cherish this evening ritual, because it is the time she chooses to open up to me, share how her day went and so much more.

On occasion, she has surprised me with insightful questions on life, politics and religion which I would have thought were beyond her understanding. Goes to show that I truly under-estimate this child of mine.

My tea time is my Hygge time. It keeps me grounded, grateful and glad for the company of this wonderful soul that I get to call my daughter.

Here is how I practise Hygge as a Mom

Reading Books/ Telling Stories

As ardent bookworms, both mom and daughter, it stands to reason that stories and books will form an integral part of our daily ritual.

Do you remember this post I wrote about storytelling and how it’s something that my daughter adores? Even today, when she is technically well past the age of being told stories, she will never pass up the chance of being told a funny or heartwarming tale.

The other thing we do is sitting on the couch, next to each other, with our noses buried in our respective books. Occasionally, she will break into giggles and point out something for me to read in her book. 

That shared love for the written word is something that can only be experienced, not fully expressed. And oh, what a gorgeous, wonderful ritual that is! I do hope you have that with your kids.

Have you read the book, Wonder by R.J. Palacio? It’s one of our favourites! 🙂

Each of these rituals may seem so utterly mundane but the emotions they evoke are anything but that. I wish, from the bottom of my heart, that you are able to connect with your kids, no matter how old, in these daily rituals. I’d also love to know if you have any rituals that you hold dear.

Everyday Rituals are the best things you can do to keep the connection alive between yourself and your kids. Positive parenting doesn't need you to make drastic changes, just small ones.

#Shailajav #PositiveParenting #Rituals #Connection

Shailaja V

Hi there! I'm Shailaja Vishwanath, a blogger with 12 years of blogging experience and a parent to a teen. I work as a digital marketing and social media consultant. From positive parenting tips to useful productivity hacks, social media advice to blogging advice, you'll find them all right here. Welcome to my blog.


Rajlakshmi · November 13, 2018 at 1:38 pm

We are a family of huggers too. Sometimes we just stand and hug… Without any reason. I miss all that warmth here. Love these beautiful rituals that you share with your daughter, especially reading. She is going to remember these moments for life.
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Shanaya Tales · November 14, 2018 at 7:36 am

Those are some amazing rituals you have built over the years, Shy. And we do have some of the very same rituals, though one of them is less ritual, and more way of life. And that would be the abundant exchange of hugs, kisses and I love yous, between me and D.

He is still relatively small, so no tea time chit chat for us yet, and he clearly (and thankfully) has very low/no maintenance boy hair, so knots to remove. But I always ensure to tuck him in for the night, and do our nightly ritual of cuddles and conversation, which can range anywhere from 5 mins to half an hour. Those are some of my most precious moments with him.
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Parul Thakur · November 15, 2018 at 7:47 pm

I love the rituals you shared. I am sure Gy will have fond memories of these when she grows up. My Mum did my hair till I left home at the age of 17. You can say I was lazy cos she was annoyed in her rush to get to school (she still teaches in the same school) but I wouldn’t budge. Now I don’t comb. 😀
Hugs came later I think. But yes, now I can call myself a hugger 🙂 Beautiful post!
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Obsessivemom · November 19, 2018 at 4:22 pm

Those are such lovely rituals. I love the way you bond with Gy. This is a ‘girl’ thing I think, this clinging just a little bit to childhood rituals. I’m all for holding on to them. Soon enough they’ll be all grown up and gone.
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Mike · December 10, 2018 at 7:25 pm

Wonderful Article with great content. These tools will definitely help us to connect with our children.

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