That’s a tricky one. Let’s take this hypothetically, for now. Assume that I am an introverted, withdrawn, shy person, who prefers her few close friends to a slew of many, not-so-close ones. Now, suppose I decide to change that about myself. Then, I become this sociable butterfly, flitting into conversations seamlessly, staying up to date on the fashionable trends and becoming an engaging, gregarious talker. So, what happens now? The close friends realise that you don’t fit into their well-knit fabric anymore and slowly, you separate yourself from the group.
On the other hand, assume that I am a brash, outspoken person who cares tuppence what people think and go around, voicing my ideas to the world at large. Let’s say I decide to change that about myself. Then, I become more conscious, watch my words, weigh my thoughts and tread carefully on people’s feelings. What happens then? The ones who despised you initially are going to say that you’re putting on a show for the benefit of a select few.
The interesting fact about change is this: no matter what you change about yourself, there will always be someone out there who has a problem with the way you are. It doesn’t matter what you do. How people perceive you is never going to be a ‘Win-Win’ situation. Even the saints of the world aren’t spared. A kind thought, a good deed, a well-written article – all these are viewed as two-edged swords. There will be a group of readers who will comment, ‘ So what? It’s not like she’s the only one facing that’. And, they’re not wrong either.
What DOES matter, however, is the reason that you should choose to change.
If you must change, do it for yourself.
Not for your friends, not for your family, not for your well-wishers- just for yourself.
On that note, if there is one thing that I could change about myself, it is the way I have expectations about people, incidents and situations.
If I can let go of expectations, I can then be ready to face the possible outcomes without disappointment.
If I can do a task for the pleasure that it affords and with no other outcome in mind, then I can be sure that I will reap that pleasure.
If I can invest in a relationship with no demands placed on the other person, then the resulting bond is sure to be more powerful.
If I can write a blog post, without worrying too much about the impact that it may have (or the views that it may get ;), then I can enjoy the writing process for what it holds.
If I can just BE, live in the moment, savour the pleasure that is right here, right now, then I think there is nothing left to change.