“Looks can be deceiving”, she muttered under her breath.
All around her the atmosphere was gloomy and depressing, as the service slowly wound its way to the end. She could hardly sit still in the suffocating atmosphere of the church, as the heat and perspiration made her fidget uncontrollably. Dan, sitting next to her, glared at her as she tried to remove the black gloves that were making her skin crawl with an unbearable itch. Catching his eye, she glowered at him and sat back in the pew, pushing her hat as far back as she could, to let the stillness of the air touch her curly, rich locks.
‘Did you say something?’ Dan asked her in a furious whisper. She merely looked at her fingers on her lap and ignored him.
“He was a good man, who worked tirelessly for the community,” said the priest, glancing over briefly at the body in the coffin.
“He was a kind man, one who never said ‘No’ to a plea for help. Losing him is an irreparable void for this community.”
‘Good riddance, you mean’, she murmured, with her eyes clamped shut.
“Would you like to leave?’ Dan hissed at her, with the implication that ‘Yes’ was not an acceptable answer.
Half-turning in her seat, she wriggled desperately to get comfortable, while drawing the disapproving looks of the other mourners. Losing every shred of interest in the proceedings, she wistfully looked at the stained glass window next to her pew and saw the Red Tree, bending under the weight of age. Its barren branches and their twisted pride always appealed to her.
The end of the service jolted her out of her reverie and she sat bolt upright. At Dan’s signal, she rose and stood, but refused to budge. With a frustrated sigh, he gripped her hand and nudged her forward towards the coffin. She eyed his prostrate form with distaste, as he lay there, attired impeccably in a black suit, with a red cloth peeping out of his coat pocket.
“Well, at least they’ll give him a rousing welcome,dressed like that. I just hope the pitchforks can get through all that puffed-up pride, ” she said in a voice, loud enough to draw shocked looks from the mourners behind her.
Dan threw an apologetic glance at them and whisked her away from there as swiftly as he could.
“Honestly, do you have no restraint?” he uttered with repressed anger. “The community loved him. He was an angel to so many. And there you are, saying all those things out loud! What has he ever done to you?”
Her wrinkled eyes looked up at her son, who had never known the truth. His wonderful dad, the caring neighbour and the loving community worker, lay inside the church, waiting to be buried. No, Dan didn’t know the truth.
Only she knew it. She and one other. The young, pregnant corpse of her husband’s paramour.
She lay buried under the Red Tree, right next to the church. She never stood a chance as his strong fingers deliberately squeezed the life out of her, while his wife watched helplessly from the confessional booth within.
Word count: 530
~~~~~~~~
Written for the Speakeasy Challenge # 153
This week we had to use this as the first line:
“Looks can be deceiving.”
In addition, we had to make a reference to the media prompt given above:
A painting titled Avond (Evening): The Red Tree
By the artist Piet Mondrian
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Interesting ending Shailaja.. as ever in awe of folks who can draw fiction out of their hat :).
Nice work with the fiction Shailaja. Impressive indeed 🙂
Many thanks Aparna 🙂 I am sure you can do it. Come on!
Thanks Sid 🙂 Happy to please!
Another interesting piece from you Shailaja 🙂
Nice twist to the story, Shailaja. Loved how you intertwined the image to the story!
Thanks Naba 🙂
Thanks Uma. Actually rewrote that bit thrice till I was satisfied 🙂
Deep and dark story, Shailaja. Loved the imagery, saw the story unfold in your words.
Thank you so much, Sulekha 🙂
The twist in the end was perfect, I was wondering how you would connect the tree, apart from being the picture she looked at. Nice dark humor, too “I just hope the pitchforks can get through all that puffed-up pride”
Loved it, Shailaja!
Thank you Vidya! 😀 Yes, I kind of felt a teeny bit wicked when I wrote the 'pitchfork' line 😉
like the others, I too enjoyed the twist at the end… nice.
A dark twist ! And a captivating narration. Lovely ! A story well woven, an image well used and a twist, well executed !! 🙂
Thank you Roshan 🙂
Sreeja, you are so generous with your compliments. Not that I am complaining. Please continue to grace my site with your warm comments 🙂 Thank you!
excuse me this was a stunner Shailaja… I loved it a lot. Really the way you have written the last two paras opening the whole pandoras box along with it.. amazingly good!
Richa
Psych, flattery will get you all my love 😀 Thank you! And yes, looks can be very deceptive.
Richa, your words make me smile 🙂 Thank you for the comment and the share 🙂
WOW…amazing story. Wasn't expecting that end, but that is what made it so exceptional. Well done!
Glad you liked it, Kathy 🙂 Thank you!
I couldn't figure out why the main character was so bitter, yet attending the funeral. I was a bit surprised to find out it was her husband (which explained why she had to be there.) Nice twist of the pregnant paramour and his 'taking care of her'. I can see why she would be bitter!
Loved the story and the ending too. So many stories remain untold in people's lives!
woaa the ending took me by surprise. Brilliant writing Shailaja 🙂
Wow… you wove that so well together. Loved the way you included that tree. Fiction is your forte.
Beautifully written:)
Great story. I kept thinking Dan must be her embarrassed spouse, until you revealed that he was her son. Good twist – we parents do have a way of embarrassing our children… How sad that Dan was unaware of his father's treachery. The plot twist at the end was very well crafted. It made me want to see the whole story – what happened leading up to the crime, and what happened during the crime, as well as what happened after the funeral. I look forward to reading more of your work.
Blessings,
Cheryl
Perfect twist! Enjoyed 🙂
Excellent build up to a surprising finish. You had be gripped to the end. It was a good use of the prompts.
Wow, Shailaja! I knew something dark would be revealed, but the details were a surprise. I enjoyed this. Karen
Dark and chilling!! But a fab story well narrated!! Thumbs up 🙂
A very well narrated story. Interesting twist at the end!
Oh my! I love how you tied the tree in. And the confessional booth at the end as well. Quite a secret twist.
I enjoyed reading this as well. It is well written and draws the reader in to understand this woman's agitation.
Shailaja, what a powerful story, I loved it.
This was really good and visual. I liked the twist, especially. 🙂
Nicely done! Your writing skills are top notch, and I enjoy your style.
Wow, fabulous story! I could feel the tension building, and you dropped hints at just the right places. Really great job.
Exactly! How could she feel any love/respect for the man after she saw what he'd done? Thanks Janna!
They probably do, Pratibha. How much can we really say from outward appearances?
*Blush* Thanks Raj!
And here I was, thinking I was the queen of introspective pieces 😉 Thanks for the compliment, Tulika!
Thanks Vishal!
Oh wow! Talk about pressure 😉 Now I have to think up the entire back story 😉 Thanks for your detailed comment! Much appreciated.
Thanks Sheethal 🙂
Thanks for that Melissa 🙂
So happy you could stop by, Karen! Much love <3
Thank you Shilpa 🙂
Thanks Beloo!!
Really happy you liked the tie-in. Wondered how it would come out 🙂
Thanks Ranu!
Jen, you made my day. Thanks!
Michael, that makes me very happy indeed!
Didn't give too much away before the end,I hope? Thank you!
Enjoyed the smooth flow to this story Shailaja and as I love dark and twisted endings,this simply made me grin-well done! 🙂
Oh jeez! The last few sentences of this story are amazing!! No, you didn't give away too much before the end 🙂
Nicely executed! I love the breadcrumb hints that lead us to that shocking twist of an ending! 🙂
Thanks Atreyee. SO glad you liked it!
Whew! That's a relief. Thank you!
Thank you Suzanne:)
How difficult it must have been to sit there while knowing the truth. You portrayed her so well with her actions and fidgeting and her words. Wonderfully written!
My kind of story. I loved it!
Oh! Loved reading that..so well written…Iu must write more fiction n also publish it!