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Welcome to Guest Tuesday

Today, I am very happy to welcome a fellow parent blogger, Roshni AaMom, who blogs at Indian American Mom, to share her delightful insight into her life as a parent.

I’ve known Roshni for a while now, but got more acquainted with her blog through the #1000Speak movement which kicked off in March this year. Balancing compassion with humour, nurturing with nuggets of wisdom, Roshni does a great job in the blogging arena. I am so pleased that she agreed to write this  post for me.

It made me smile and I’m sure you will too, at the end of it.

Please welcome Roshni who writes a fun post on the ups and downs of parenting two boys.

Roshni AaMom, Guest post, Diary of a Doting Mom, Indian American Mom


You can follow Roshni via her blog, through Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.
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I’m very excited to have been invited by Shailaja to write a post for her blog! After racking my brain for several weeks over what the best topic to write on would be, I heeded her suggestion to make it Parenting! 

 Allow me to introduce myself first. I am a Bengali living for the past 12 years in California. My kids have been born and brought up here, so they are very much American – not Bobby Jindal American perhaps, but nevertheless, Americans!! 

I have often been questioned about how I bring up my kids and my response is to point to this post.

  Parenting by an Indian American Mom

My older son, who will be going to 6th grade this year and who is 11, often asks me whether I wish he was not growing up and was as cute and cuddly as he used to be when he was a baby. I’m not sure what answer he hopes for, but I tell him very honestly that the age that he and my younger son, who is 7, are, that ‘now’, is the best age! 

 And, honestly it is! 

No more playing make-believe; no more reading nursery rhymes 25 times in a row; no more diapers (Oh. My. God! Thank the Lord!!!), no more night-feeding; no more hurling-oneself-to-the-floor temper tantrums (the temper tantrums are still there; just not the I-don’t-care-if-I-hit-my-head types); and no more helicopter-monitoring their every move! 

 This is the age when my sons actually read the same books that I do (Calvin and Hobbes, Lemony Snicket and Harry Potter), when they play the board games that I like (though it is annoying when the younger one beats me in Chess), we can watch the same TV shows, and we can have discussions about nerdy stuff that interests all of us! 

 Of course, this is also the age when any instruction I give will go through a complete critical analysis, the mini-lawyers will strut around discussing the pros and cons (mostly the cons) and full implications of doing what they were told, and the motion will be passed that the whole idea is a joke and democratically rejected! 

 This is also the age when my younger one is fully exerting his own unique personality. Gone are the days of complete adoration and mimicking his older brother. He now knows his own mind and his mind often tells him to push his brother’s buttons. I have learnt to ignore and, if that doesn’t work, to listen without comment to each complaint leveled against the other, and, as a last resort, dole out punishment with impunity! This last step obviously leads to the lawyer talk!

 So, there you have it! If you’re a younger mom, you know what to look forward to! And, if you have older kids, do feel free to tell me in the comments how to navigate through the teen years that I am soon headed for!

Comments

comments

Categories: Parenting

35 Comments

Uma Nigith · July 13, 2015 at 8:06 pm

Really?? Is that the best age? I feel that each age is the best…hehe. .like when he was just so tiny I was happy that he just stays in one place and allows me to get the much needed rest..After few months or at 1, I felt good because of his newly acquired super mobility I felt I was losing all the excess weight gained post pregnancy 😉 and then when he started speaking, I was happy that now he can tell me his wants and needs. I love this age of him at 3 when he understands other feelings and his own. Also the endless doubts that make me learn so much just so that I can quench his thirst to know more and more. I guess I would also like an age when he is not depending on me for entertainment…and likes the same stuff that I do 😉
Thanks Roshni for me making me think about this 🙂 and Shailaja for inviting Roshni.

Roshni AaMom · July 13, 2015 at 8:51 pm

Thank you so much for hosting me and thank you for giving a shout-out to #1000Speak!! 🙂

Kristi Campbell · July 13, 2015 at 9:47 pm

I'm really enjoying some of the freedom that's come with my newly six-year-old's independence. He can grab cereal (or cookies) from the pantry in the morning! You're so right that every age is the best age!

tulika singh · July 14, 2015 at 1:45 am

You said it Roshni. With nine year old twins I'm right there with you. And I couldn't agree more. It's delightful to be able to talk to the kids at a somewhat mature level. As for your decisions being questioned – the perpetual 'why' drives me nuts and I do bring out the 'i'm your mother that's why' card.

iwrotethose.com · July 14, 2015 at 1:59 am

A pleasure to see you here, Rosh.
Yes, being a cheeky and cuddly little kid has its perks but it's also nice to have great covnersation with the kids and to be able to do things that you all like to do.
Interesting post, Gives me an idea of what to look forward to 😉

Shailaja Vishwanath · July 14, 2015 at 2:15 am

More than happy to host wonderful bloggers like you, Roshni! Thank you again for a fun post!

Rachna · July 14, 2015 at 3:56 am

Best age? For my younger one, every year I ferl it is one year away. 🙂 Tell me about refereeing! I think both my sons will be great lawyers. God bless their teachers. With me, I engage but finally I flash the parent card. End of discussion. My elder one is 13. And teenage years are here. To tell you the truth, this ond is more mature and responsible. I am more worried about how the younger one would be. Never a dull moment with 2 boys. 🙂 So nice to see you here and read a post from you, Rosh.

Beloo Mehra · July 14, 2015 at 2:39 pm

I like the reference to “not Bobby Jindal American” 😀 Reminded me of some interviews I did many many years ago with a few Indian-American kids, ages similar to your kids!

vishalbheeroo · July 14, 2015 at 2:46 pm

Roshni is such a lovable human being and good friend. Love reading her observation about her children, today's kids are so sharp, smart and ahead of their time. Cheerz Shailaja:)

Parul · July 14, 2015 at 3:04 pm

Good to have you here. I am not a Mum but I enjoyed reading your post. Your kids will grow up loving and enjoying each other's company. And lil A beats you in chess? He is a smart chap.

Roshni AaMom · July 14, 2015 at 4:16 pm

Every age is probably the best age when we're experiencing it! It's a great point, Uma!! However, for me since I have the point of comparison and contrast of the loss of dependence on me to entertain them, I feel like this is a very interesting point where we are actually interacting almost like friends!! 🙂

Roshni AaMom · July 14, 2015 at 4:17 pm

Isn't that awesome! Not to have to get up at every snacktime to get him something and to actually feel proud when he accomplishes these little tasks on his own!

Roshni AaMom · July 14, 2015 at 4:17 pm

hahahha!! Oh yes! I used to get so mad when my mom said that to me, but now I realize that sometimes that's the best card to bring out!!

Roshni AaMom · July 14, 2015 at 4:19 pm

Thank you, Sid! Yes, I remember the cute, innocent, naughty stage too and it was a joy to record their chatter! I'm sure with you it will continue but start to become more thoughtful and mature! It's a delight to listen to what they have to say sometimes!

Roshni AaMom · July 14, 2015 at 4:20 pm

Thank you, Rachna!! The same with mine! My older one is more mature but also very intense in his feelings! The younger one is a firecracker and I do always wonder about how he's turning out!! 🙂 Never a dull moment, as you say!

Roshni AaMom · July 14, 2015 at 4:21 pm

Hahah!! Yes, I saw the comment and backlash online! I'd love to read about the interviews! Do give me the link!

Roshni AaMom · July 14, 2015 at 4:22 pm

Oh, thank you, Vishal!! How sweet of you! 🙂

Roshni AaMom · July 14, 2015 at 4:22 pm

Thank you, Parul! To tell you the truth, I never liked Chess!! Give me Ludo or Scrabble any day!! 😀

Kathleen O'Donnell · July 14, 2015 at 5:41 pm

I think I'll just let the teen years be a surprise! Boys are different than girls. Had two of each. Boys are easier in lots of ways…My youngest is 27! So it goes by fast. Take it in as much as you can.

Jaibala Rao · July 15, 2015 at 5:08 am

Okay so now I know what to expect in the future. We are at the stage that is a thin line between the tantrum stage and the cute cuddly stage. S could slip into any one at any given moment. But I do agree with the fact that the best age is now, whatever the now may be 🙂

Roshni AaMom · July 15, 2015 at 4:37 pm

A surprise sounds ominous!! But, I'll take your word for it that it's easy with boys and goes fast! 😀

Roshni AaMom · July 15, 2015 at 4:38 pm

Every stage is very interesting! But, I definitely rejoice at not having to change any more diapers!!

Dana @ Kiss my List · July 15, 2015 at 7:42 pm

Your boys are at great ages, Roshni. And for all the angst of the teen years, I think they are pretty great too. The best part is being able to enjoy my kids for the smart, witty and fun people they are. If only they would pick up their dirty clothes, things would be perfect! 😉

SHANAYA TALES · July 16, 2015 at 1:15 pm

Those do look like fun ages. But I guess every age has it's pros and cons.I have a three-nager at home, and while I love the cuddles, I am SO over the nursery rhymes, I tell you. Especially the one he insists on playing over and over again. Whatever happened to variety. 😐 Your post comes like a beacon of hope for the future. 😀

Good to see you here, Roshni. 🙂

Roshni AaMom · July 16, 2015 at 4:48 pm

Ah, perfection is something we can only aspire to!! Thanks for the tips, Dana! 🙂

Roshni AaMom · July 16, 2015 at 4:49 pm

I know!! I remember we had to play parts of Finding Nemo for months when Big A was 3!! I definitely know the dialogues by-heart now!!

Shilpa Garg · July 17, 2015 at 5:11 am

I think, the first and foremost thing I do when I see a small child is… say a prayer of thanks. Thank God that I am past the diapers and feeds, temper tantrums… My son is 13 and I am loving this phase of life. Like you mentioned, we can discuss things and he shares his view point too, unlike earlier times, when it was one sided instructions from me; we can watch the same shows; (Thank God he is well past those Cartoon Network shows, they used to get on my nerves!); basically, we are on the same page on a lot of things. Some time back, a small kid was throwing temper tantrums and he looked at me suggesting what is this kid doing? I dont know how the teens ahead will be, but looking forward to that phase too. Good to see you here, Roshni 🙂

Roshni AaMom · July 17, 2015 at 5:06 pm

LOL!! I think I second saying a prayer that we successfully passed that stage!! All the values and life principles that we wanted to impart are mostly instilled…now we have to see how much they retain and how their personalities further blossoms under their own steam! 🙂 It truly is an exciting threshold stage!

Found In Folsom · July 17, 2015 at 8:06 pm

Really? For me every age is a pain and after that phase passes, I feel the past phase was better. I abhor the diaper phase though. Ughh those sleepless nights…I hate it man. My older one isn't responsible yet. He thinks he is mature enough. But I am sure my daughter's teens are going to be more dangerous than my son's 🙂 you know when I see younger kids or their moms, I secretly clap inside. “Hammayya….my phase is over…my kids are grown up”. 😛 Glad to see you here, Rosh!

Roshni AaMom · July 20, 2015 at 5:18 pm

hahah!!! Yes, each stage can be a wonderful thing or it can be a pain, for sure!! 🙂
I guess the universal reaction is that it is better when the kids are older!

dilontherocks · July 28, 2015 at 6:15 am

Now is the best age indeed. I constantly disagree with ppl when tell me that it gets better as kids grow up. Like you said, no more diapers and night time feedings, but every age brings with itself challenges and as well, happy moments 🙂 Now is definitely the best age. 😀

Nandana Nallapu · July 28, 2015 at 4:06 pm

All your parenting posts are wonderful Roshni. Makes me want to become a parent asap 😀

//the motion will be passed that the whole idea is a joke and democratically rejected!
Hahaha. Loving the parenting joy this post reflects.

Roshni AaMom · July 28, 2015 at 5:40 pm

People don't realize how fast it all goes! It's wonderful to be able to enjoy it as it happens!

Roshni AaMom · July 28, 2015 at 5:41 pm

hhahahah!! To each her own! 🙂
Thank you for the wonderful compliment, Nandana!!

dolphindives · October 15, 2015 at 2:24 am

My girls are not 10 & 5 and I too am really enjoying this age pairing. They can play a lot of games with each other, like to go for bicycle rides together and the 10 yr old hasn't yet reached the 'don't come near me in public' stage! For the younger one she is able to better decide for herself as to what she wants to copy from her sister and want is her own space. Thanks for lovely post.

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