Parenting by an Indian American Mom via @RoshniAaMom

Parenting by an Indian American Mom via @RoshniAaMom

Welcome to Guest Tuesday

Today, I am very happy to welcome a fellow parent blogger, Roshni AaMom, who blogs at Indian American Mom, to share her delightful insight into her life as a parent.

I’ve known Roshni for a while now, but got more acquainted with her blog through the #1000Speak movement which kicked off in March this year. Balancing compassion with humour, nurturing with nuggets of wisdom, Roshni does a great job in the blogging arena. I am so pleased that she agreed to write this  post for me.

It made me smile and I’m sure you will too, at the end of it.

Please welcome Roshni who writes a fun post on the ups and downs of parenting two boys.

Roshni AaMom, Guest post, Diary of a Doting Mom, Indian American Mom

You can follow Roshni via her blog, through Facebook, Twitter or Pinterest.

I’m very excited to have been invited by Shailaja to write a post for her blog! After racking my brain for several weeks over what the best topic to write on would be, I heeded her suggestion to make it Parenting! 

 Allow me to introduce myself first. I am a Bengali living for the past 12 years in California. My kids have been born and brought up here, so they are very much American – not Bobby Jindal American perhaps, but nevertheless, Americans!! 

I have often been questioned about how I bring up my kids and my response is to point to this post.

  Parenting by an Indian American Mom

My older son, who will be going to 6th grade this year and who is 11, often asks me whether I wish he was not growing up and was as cute and cuddly as he used to be when he was a baby. I’m not sure what answer he hopes for, but I tell him very honestly that the age that he and my younger son, who is 7, are, that ‘now’, is the best age! 

 And, honestly it is! 

No more playing make-believe; no more reading nursery rhymes 25 times in a row; no more diapers (Oh. My. God! Thank the Lord!!!), no more night-feeding; no more hurling-oneself-to-the-floor temper tantrums (the temper tantrums are still there; just not the I-don’t-care-if-I-hit-my-head types); and no more helicopter-monitoring their every move! 

 This is the age when my sons actually read the same books that I do (Calvin and Hobbes, Lemony Snicket and Harry Potter), when they play the board games that I like (though it is annoying when the younger one beats me in Chess), we can watch the same TV shows, and we can have discussions about nerdy stuff that interests all of us! 

 Of course, this is also the age when any instruction I give will go through a complete critical analysis, the mini-lawyers will strut around discussing the pros and cons (mostly the cons) and full implications of doing what they were told, and the motion will be passed that the whole idea is a joke and democratically rejected! 

 This is also the age when my younger one is fully exerting his own unique personality. Gone are the days of complete adoration and mimicking his older brother. He now knows his own mind and his mind often tells him to push his brother’s buttons. I have learnt to ignore and, if that doesn’t work, to listen without comment to each complaint leveled against the other, and, as a last resort, dole out punishment with impunity! This last step obviously leads to the lawyer talk!

 So, there you have it! If you’re a younger mom, you know what to look forward to! And, if you have older kids, do feel free to tell me in the comments how to navigate through the teen years that I am soon headed for!

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35 thoughts on “Parenting by an Indian American Mom via @RoshniAaMom

  1. Really?? Is that the best age? I feel that each age is the best…hehe. .like when he was just so tiny I was happy that he just stays in one place and allows me to get the much needed rest..After few months or at 1, I felt good because of his newly acquired super mobility I felt I was losing all the excess weight gained post pregnancy 😉 and then when he started speaking, I was happy that now he can tell me his wants and needs. I love this age of him at 3 when he understands other feelings and his own. Also the endless doubts that make me learn so much just so that I can quench his thirst to know more and more. I guess I would also like an age when he is not depending on me for entertainment…and likes the same stuff that I do 😉
    Thanks Roshni for me making me think about this 🙂 and Shailaja for inviting Roshni.

  2. I'm really enjoying some of the freedom that's come with my newly six-year-old's independence. He can grab cereal (or cookies) from the pantry in the morning! You're so right that every age is the best age!

  3. You said it Roshni. With nine year old twins I'm right there with you. And I couldn't agree more. It's delightful to be able to talk to the kids at a somewhat mature level. As for your decisions being questioned – the perpetual 'why' drives me nuts and I do bring out the 'i'm your mother that's why' card.

  4. A pleasure to see you here, Rosh.
    Yes, being a cheeky and cuddly little kid has its perks but it's also nice to have great covnersation with the kids and to be able to do things that you all like to do.
    Interesting post, Gives me an idea of what to look forward to 😉

  5. Best age? For my younger one, every year I ferl it is one year away. 🙂 Tell me about refereeing! I think both my sons will be great lawyers. God bless their teachers. With me, I engage but finally I flash the parent card. End of discussion. My elder one is 13. And teenage years are here. To tell you the truth, this ond is more mature and responsible. I am more worried about how the younger one would be. Never a dull moment with 2 boys. 🙂 So nice to see you here and read a post from you, Rosh.

  6. I like the reference to “not Bobby Jindal American” 😀 Reminded me of some interviews I did many many years ago with a few Indian-American kids, ages similar to your kids!

  7. Roshni is such a lovable human being and good friend. Love reading her observation about her children, today's kids are so sharp, smart and ahead of their time. Cheerz Shailaja:)

  8. Good to have you here. I am not a Mum but I enjoyed reading your post. Your kids will grow up loving and enjoying each other's company. And lil A beats you in chess? He is a smart chap.

  9. Every age is probably the best age when we're experiencing it! It's a great point, Uma!! However, for me since I have the point of comparison and contrast of the loss of dependence on me to entertain them, I feel like this is a very interesting point where we are actually interacting almost like friends!! 🙂

  10. Thank you, Sid! Yes, I remember the cute, innocent, naughty stage too and it was a joy to record their chatter! I'm sure with you it will continue but start to become more thoughtful and mature! It's a delight to listen to what they have to say sometimes!

  11. Thank you, Rachna!! The same with mine! My older one is more mature but also very intense in his feelings! The younger one is a firecracker and I do always wonder about how he's turning out!! 🙂 Never a dull moment, as you say!

  12. I think I'll just let the teen years be a surprise! Boys are different than girls. Had two of each. Boys are easier in lots of ways…My youngest is 27! So it goes by fast. Take it in as much as you can.

  13. Okay so now I know what to expect in the future. We are at the stage that is a thin line between the tantrum stage and the cute cuddly stage. S could slip into any one at any given moment. But I do agree with the fact that the best age is now, whatever the now may be 🙂

  14. Your boys are at great ages, Roshni. And for all the angst of the teen years, I think they are pretty great too. The best part is being able to enjoy my kids for the smart, witty and fun people they are. If only they would pick up their dirty clothes, things would be perfect! 😉

  15. Those do look like fun ages. But I guess every age has it's pros and cons.I have a three-nager at home, and while I love the cuddles, I am SO over the nursery rhymes, I tell you. Especially the one he insists on playing over and over again. Whatever happened to variety. 😐 Your post comes like a beacon of hope for the future. 😀

    Good to see you here, Roshni. 🙂

  16. I think, the first and foremost thing I do when I see a small child is… say a prayer of thanks. Thank God that I am past the diapers and feeds, temper tantrums… My son is 13 and I am loving this phase of life. Like you mentioned, we can discuss things and he shares his view point too, unlike earlier times, when it was one sided instructions from me; we can watch the same shows; (Thank God he is well past those Cartoon Network shows, they used to get on my nerves!); basically, we are on the same page on a lot of things. Some time back, a small kid was throwing temper tantrums and he looked at me suggesting what is this kid doing? I dont know how the teens ahead will be, but looking forward to that phase too. Good to see you here, Roshni 🙂

  17. LOL!! I think I second saying a prayer that we successfully passed that stage!! All the values and life principles that we wanted to impart are mostly instilled…now we have to see how much they retain and how their personalities further blossoms under their own steam! 🙂 It truly is an exciting threshold stage!

  18. Really? For me every age is a pain and after that phase passes, I feel the past phase was better. I abhor the diaper phase though. Ughh those sleepless nights…I hate it man. My older one isn't responsible yet. He thinks he is mature enough. But I am sure my daughter's teens are going to be more dangerous than my son's 🙂 you know when I see younger kids or their moms, I secretly clap inside. “Hammayya….my phase is over…my kids are grown up”. 😛 Glad to see you here, Rosh!

  19. hahah!!! Yes, each stage can be a wonderful thing or it can be a pain, for sure!! 🙂
    I guess the universal reaction is that it is better when the kids are older!

  20. Now is the best age indeed. I constantly disagree with ppl when tell me that it gets better as kids grow up. Like you said, no more diapers and night time feedings, but every age brings with itself challenges and as well, happy moments 🙂 Now is definitely the best age. 😀

  21. All your parenting posts are wonderful Roshni. Makes me want to become a parent asap 😀

    //the motion will be passed that the whole idea is a joke and democratically rejected!
    Hahaha. Loving the parenting joy this post reflects.

  22. My girls are not 10 & 5 and I too am really enjoying this age pairing. They can play a lot of games with each other, like to go for bicycle rides together and the 10 yr old hasn't yet reached the 'don't come near me in public' stage! For the younger one she is able to better decide for herself as to what she wants to copy from her sister and want is her own space. Thanks for lovely post.

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