Practicing positive parenting- A guest post

Practicing positive parenting- A guest post

Today’s post is a guest post from my warm and loving friend, Vidya Sury and a fellow A-Z participant. I found Vidya through Write Tribe, a vibrant community of writers and bloggers who encourage each other by sharing, commenting and helping out where possible.

 She is an ace blogger, in every sense of the word, whether it’s in terms of content, quality, technical know-how or just knowing how to use the right words to get her message across.

But that’s how I met her. Not how I fell in love with her. Vidya is the kind of person who is there for you- in every sense of the word. When I went through a rough patch, emotionally and physically, Vidya was there for me, reaching out and consoling me. She kept checking up on me, the way a wonderful friend does. Vidya, it is an honour to have you on my blog today.

A note about Vidya

Vidya Sury is a Mom | Writer | Editor | Blogger | Social media explorer. She views the world through pink colored spectacles, coated with compassion and believes in giving.

She loves her work, writing, her coffee, friends, family, DIY craft, books, music, cooking and photography. Her hobbies are collecting smiles and inspiring happiness.
She blogs at Vidya Sury, Coffee With Mi and Your Medical Guide and tweets as @vidyasury

My best example of parenting is, naturally, my Mom. She was an outstanding example of the phrase “positive parenting”. As a child of the 60’s, when we had practically zero technology to amuse and entertain ourselves with, I am grateful for the time she devoted to me. She inculcated certain habits in me that I follow to this day.
I was lucky to go to the same school as she did, and we even had the same teacher, can you imagine? Perhaps because of her single parent status, my Mom and I shared an extra-special bond that was more friendship. 
Even in those days, she made it a point to talk to me every day – and that was not easy, because she worked as a teacher and attended part-time classes to complete her education. In spite of her hectic schedule, she was always kind and smiling. I still marvel at how someone could be so nice.
I’ve imbibed several positive parenting lessons from her and here are some of the ways I practice them.

  • Communication is perhaps the basic foundation of positive parenting. As long as we can talk about anything freely, everything is going to be a-okay! 
    • Love is always the answer. No matter how mad I get with my son, I make sure we sort it out as quickly as possible. No silent sulking.
    • Never go to bed in anger. I kiss and make up if that is the last thing I do. Children can get on our nerves…after all, they’re growing up and learning. Parents are here to understand and guide them, empathize with them.  
    • Never too busy to listen, within reason, whenever my son has something to share. He complements this, in turn, by understanding when I am actually busy with work. 
    • Make it a point to spend time together every day – sharing the day’s happenings, exercising together and having dinner together.
    • No yelling, no harsh words.
    • Never ever scold him or pull him up in front of anyone.
    • Never compare him with others.
    • No performance pressure. Instead, I focus on helping him develop good habits and in the process, learn a lot.
    • Encouragement must be consistent, no matter what. Praise can be occasional.
    • Always have a solid dose of humor at the ready. Seeing the funny side solves problems faster than any words or gestures can.
    • Pray together every day.
    I’ve found that treating our children with respect elicits the optimum response. Learning when to be a parent and when to be friends is key. 

    I could go on and on, but in keeping with Shailaja’s theme of 11, I conclude here and thank you for your presence here today. 

    Love, Vidya
    Word count: 451
    Written by Vidya Sury for the A to Z 2014 Challenge

    P is for Parenting

    Do check out Vidya’s blog and her post for P: Puns and Parodies

    Also linking this to the Ultimate Blog Challenge for April


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    0 thoughts on “Practicing positive parenting- A guest post

    1. Loved every word of it, Vidya 🙂 Parenting is surely an art, and articles of this sort are sure to help newbie parents like me in avoiding common mistakes and doing a good job of it 🙂
      Thanks Shailaja, for presenting her here 😉
      HUgssss to both the wonderful ladies behind this post, and three cheers to Mi 🙂 😉

    2. Oh, some people don't even think before they do that, Swathi! I've met very few parents who speak nicely about their children, voluntarily! 🙂 Thank you for your comment!

    3. Vidya, in these days where the phrase 'spending quality time' is overused – your Mom and you stand out as shining examples of making your moments with your children count!
      Nice to see Vidya on your blog, Shailaja.

    4. Excellent post, as is to be expected from an authority on Positivity and Parenting!
      I'd like to add one more point:
      There are times when a parent may do the wrong thing, like being harsh, not keeping a commitment (for whatever reason), etc.. The parent should never feel guilty about this. A sincere apology or expression of regret is enough. Children are much better than adults at forgiving.

    5. True, Pro. In fact I had much more to add to that post, but kept in mind that I should keep it short 😀 It is true that children are not only forgiving but also ready to understand. They love explanations 😀 Thank you for your comment!

    6. Great tips. Respect is earned not automatically commanded and what better way to earn it than show our children the respect they deserve.

    7. The honour is all mine, Beloo. I was very touched that she agreed so readily. Did you know that she completed this post even before writing her own A-Z posts? That's the power of her commitment. How much we can learn from her. Vidya, you are a gem. One in a billion.

    8. Hey Vidya this is a very informative and helpful post. I must add positive parenting is not something which comes naturally to parents, it needs efforts, in fact continuous efforts.
      I dont blame the parents who dont practise it, it could be their unawareness which leads them to behave otherwise.
      Love is the most imp ingredient along with encouragement. I have seen when parents compare their children they do it with a motive to encourage the child but they miserably fail to understand that they installing negative feelings within the child.
      I am not a parent yet, but can totally relate to it. I have observed children whose parents made them feel secured in childhood grow up to be better individuals.
      I thank both two lovely ladies VIDYA S and Shailaja V for this post !

    9. Agree with all ur points, Vidya. Communication is vital to healthy parenting and relationships. It's such a heart warming post and I agree that we should communicate as human beings to dispel all forms of confusion or negative thoughts.

    10. This was as usual a beautiful post from awesome Mommy Vidya! Very imp points here if positive parenting. I have said this before Vidya, your mom is an inspiration to all of us. So much we have learned over your chit-chats with Mi! 🙂 Communication is the key for both parents and children, a bond should be established that either one of them can say what's their in their hearts and yes respect!!
      Shailaja this was a terrific choice for P!

    11. True and time tested words Vidya. Simple ideas that I always try to practice but sometimes I just lose it. Still I never let go of love,communication and lots of hugs and I love you's for my 5 year old.
      Great post. You are amazing Vidya and Thanks Shailaja.

    12. Vidya, I am almost moved by your posts about your mom and how much you loved her. She taught you so well, the tips you follow are the only ones we need to make our kids grow up to be secure, happy and healthy.

      Thanks for inviting Vidya to your place, Shailaja.

    13. Beautiful words for a beautiful blogger Shailaja 🙂
      I loved the way you have described your mother Vidya. She sounds like an amazing woman. Wonderful parenting tips, I could actually see many were followed by my Dad and I have great respect for him. 🙂

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