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Today’s post is a guest post from my warm and loving friend, Vidya Sury and a fellow A-Z participant. I found Vidya through Write Tribe, a vibrant community of writers and bloggers who encourage each other by sharing, commenting and helping out where possible.

 She is an ace blogger, in every sense of the word, whether it’s in terms of content, quality, technical know-how or just knowing how to use the right words to get her message across.

But that’s how I met her. Not how I fell in love with her. Vidya is the kind of person who is there for you- in every sense of the word. When I went through a rough patch, emotionally and physically, Vidya was there for me, reaching out and consoling me. She kept checking up on me, the way a wonderful friend does. Vidya, it is an honour to have you on my blog today.


A note about Vidya

Vidya Sury is a Mom | Writer | Editor | Blogger | Social media explorer. She views the world through pink colored spectacles, coated with compassion and believes in giving.

She loves her work, writing, her coffee, friends, family, DIY craft, books, music, cooking and photography. Her hobbies are collecting smiles and inspiring happiness.
She blogs at Vidya Sury, Coffee With Mi and Your Medical Guide and tweets as @vidyasury
~~~~~~~

My best example of parenting is, naturally, my Mom. She was an outstanding example of the phrase “positive parenting”. As a child of the 60’s, when we had practically zero technology to amuse and entertain ourselves with, I am grateful for the time she devoted to me. She inculcated certain habits in me that I follow to this day.
I was lucky to go to the same school as she did, and we even had the same teacher, can you imagine? Perhaps because of her single parent status, my Mom and I shared an extra-special bond that was more friendship. 
Even in those days, she made it a point to talk to me every day – and that was not easy, because she worked as a teacher and attended part-time classes to complete her education. In spite of her hectic schedule, she was always kind and smiling. I still marvel at how someone could be so nice.
I’ve imbibed several positive parenting lessons from her and here are some of the ways I practice them.

  • Communication is perhaps the basic foundation of positive parenting. As long as we can talk about anything freely, everything is going to be a-okay! 
    • Love is always the answer. No matter how mad I get with my son, I make sure we sort it out as quickly as possible. No silent sulking.
    • Never go to bed in anger. I kiss and make up if that is the last thing I do. Children can get on our nerves…after all, they’re growing up and learning. Parents are here to understand and guide them, empathize with them.  
    • Never too busy to listen, within reason, whenever my son has something to share. He complements this, in turn, by understanding when I am actually busy with work. 
    • Make it a point to spend time together every day – sharing the day’s happenings, exercising together and having dinner together.
    • No yelling, no harsh words.
    • Never ever scold him or pull him up in front of anyone.
    • Never compare him with others.
    • No performance pressure. Instead, I focus on helping him develop good habits and in the process, learn a lot.
    • Encouragement must be consistent, no matter what. Praise can be occasional.
    • Always have a solid dose of humor at the ready. Seeing the funny side solves problems faster than any words or gestures can.
    • Pray together every day.
    I’ve found that treating our children with respect elicits the optimum response. Learning when to be a parent and when to be friends is key. 

    I could go on and on, but in keeping with Shailaja’s theme of 11, I conclude here and thank you for your presence here today. 

    Love, Vidya
    Word count: 451
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Written by Vidya Sury for the A to Z 2014 Challenge

    P is for Parenting

    Do check out Vidya’s blog and her post for P: Puns and Parodies

    Also linking this to the Ultimate Blog Challenge for April

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    Comments

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    62 Comments

    Pixie · April 18, 2014 at 1:33 am

    Such a positive post ! Loved it completely! 🙂
    And your love for your mom and son shines thru! 🙂

    vinodini · April 18, 2014 at 1:44 am

    Beautiful post! Sums up everything possibly a mother can do to raise a healthy minded child.

    Swathi Shenoy · April 18, 2014 at 2:11 am

    ofcourse not scolding infront of others n not comparing make a grt deal of difference!

    http://swathishenoy.blogspot.in/2014/04/p-for-pride.html?m=1
    a-z participant

    janaki ramdas · April 18, 2014 at 2:49 am

    I like this positive parenting

    Sreeja Praveen · April 18, 2014 at 3:17 am

    Loved every word of it, Vidya 🙂 Parenting is surely an art, and articles of this sort are sure to help newbie parents like me in avoiding common mistakes and doing a good job of it 🙂
    Thanks Shailaja, for presenting her here 😉
    HUgssss to both the wonderful ladies behind this post, and three cheers to Mi 🙂 😉

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 3:45 am

    Pix, thank you ♥

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 3:46 am

    🙂 Vinodini, thank you for your lovely comment! Most of us imbibe what we are from our Moms, and I am so glad I had mine!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 3:47 am

    Oh, some people don't even think before they do that, Swathi! I've met very few parents who speak nicely about their children, voluntarily! 🙂 Thank you for your comment!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 3:47 am

    🙂 It is a great way to enjoy being a parent, Janaki! Thank you for commenting!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 3:48 am

    There you go, making my eyes fill up with your beautiful comment. 😉 You sure know my weakspot, Sreeja!

    Hugs and thanks ♥

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 3:49 am

    Dear Shailaja,

    It is a pleasure to be here today. Thank you for hosting me!

    Vidya

    Corinne Rodrigues · April 18, 2014 at 4:46 am

    Vidya, in these days where the phrase 'spending quality time' is overused – your Mom and you stand out as shining examples of making your moments with your children count!
    Nice to see Vidya on your blog, Shailaja.

    proactiveindian.com · April 18, 2014 at 4:58 am

    Excellent post, as is to be expected from an authority on Positivity and Parenting!
    I'd like to add one more point:
    There are times when a parent may do the wrong thing, like being harsh, not keeping a commitment (for whatever reason), etc.. The parent should never feel guilty about this. A sincere apology or expression of regret is enough. Children are much better than adults at forgiving.

    Beloo Mehra · April 18, 2014 at 5:17 am

    A very thoughtfully prepared post. Liked the positivity and the heartfelt nature of the writing. Great going, Vidya, as always. And great choice, Shailja for the guest post! Very well done, ladies!

    Beauty Interprets, Expresses, Manifests the Eternal

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 6:28 am

    Thank you, Corinne. We're the flower children. We're blessed!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 6:30 am

    True, Pro. In fact I had much more to add to that post, but kept in mind that I should keep it short 😀 It is true that children are not only forgiving but also ready to understand. They love explanations 😀 Thank you for your comment!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 6:32 am

    Thank you, dear Beloo! 🙂 So sweet of Shailaja to invite me as her first guest poster!

    Suzy · April 18, 2014 at 6:55 am

    Great tips. Respect is earned not automatically commanded and what better way to earn it than show our children the respect they deserve.

    Nabanita · April 18, 2014 at 8:01 am

    I think I'm going to pin the tips to my board for future reference… Some how reminds me of my mom, how she is with us…

    P for Petrified-Random Thoughts Naba

    Natasha Borah Khan · April 18, 2014 at 9:52 am

    my mother did all of it 🙂 And I am so grateful to God for having her.

    tulika singh · April 18, 2014 at 10:37 am

    Those are things all of us know yet fail to practice. Good to have them reiterated. Intending to print these out and put them on the fridge where I see them all the time.

    Chai a Cup of Life · April 18, 2014 at 11:04 am

    Nice tips. I think as parents we do the best we can but sometimes need a few reminders, so thanks! By the way Shailaja, loving the new profile pic!

    Shesha Chaturvedi · April 18, 2014 at 12:50 pm

    Yeah I have been brought up like this and there was much more… I love her blog about her mother and shared it with my mother… She was smiling 🙂

    Found In Folsom · April 18, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    I don't have to tell you Vidya why I fell in love with you…your positivity of course. 🙂 those are much needed tips for impatient parents like me 🙂 hugs..

    Shailaja V · April 18, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    Vidya, it is my pleasure to have you here today 🙂 Thank you for writing such a beautiful and heartfelt post. <3

    Shailaja V · April 18, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    Thank you for being here, Corinne. Indeed a pleasure to have her here today 🙂

    Shailaja V · April 18, 2014 at 2:39 pm

    The honour is all mine, Beloo. I was very touched that she agreed so readily. Did you know that she completed this post even before writing her own A-Z posts? That's the power of her commitment. How much we can learn from her. Vidya, you are a gem. One in a billion.

    Makro Foundation · April 18, 2014 at 2:45 pm

    wow very amazed to read about positive parenting

    http://ashalifeishope.blogspot.in/2014/04/proud-be-proud-of-self.html#comment-form

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 2:49 pm

    Right said, Suzy! 🙂 Thank you

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    🙂 What a lovely thing to say, Naba! Hugs! I am sure you'll make a wonderful parent!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    You are blessed, Natasha! Thank you for dropping by!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 2:51 pm

    🙂 Tulika, easy is sometimes the hardest, because we stress ourselves out to find the perfect way. Thank you for your kind comment!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 2:53 pm

    🙂 Thanks for your comment, Chai. Just hopped over to your blog – and definitely plan to spend time there. The pumpkin curry got me hooked!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    Thank you Shesha! 🙂

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    Hugs, Latha! You always have such nice things to say to me! Love you right back!

    Vidya Sury · April 18, 2014 at 2:59 pm

    Thank you, Makro Foundation!

    Ananya Tales · April 18, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    Hey Vidya this is a very informative and helpful post. I must add positive parenting is not something which comes naturally to parents, it needs efforts, in fact continuous efforts.
    I dont blame the parents who dont practise it, it could be their unawareness which leads them to behave otherwise.
    Love is the most imp ingredient along with encouragement. I have seen when parents compare their children they do it with a motive to encourage the child but they miserably fail to understand that they installing negative feelings within the child.
    I am not a parent yet, but can totally relate to it. I have observed children whose parents made them feel secured in childhood grow up to be better individuals.
    I thank both two lovely ladies VIDYA S and Shailaja V for this post !

    vishal bheeroo · April 18, 2014 at 7:40 pm

    Agree with all ur points, Vidya. Communication is vital to healthy parenting and relationships. It's such a heart warming post and I agree that we should communicate as human beings to dispel all forms of confusion or negative thoughts.
    Cheerz

    Kathy Combs · April 18, 2014 at 8:35 pm

    Oh Vidya, such a lovely post about parenting and your personal spin on it. I loved it! ♥

    Aditi · April 19, 2014 at 3:32 am

    This was as usual a beautiful post from awesome Mommy Vidya! Very imp points here if positive parenting. I have said this before Vidya, your mom is an inspiration to all of us. So much we have learned over your chit-chats with Mi! 🙂 Communication is the key for both parents and children, a bond should be established that either one of them can say what's their in their hearts and yes respect!!
    Shailaja this was a terrific choice for P!

    Inderpreet Kaur Uppal · April 19, 2014 at 3:32 am

    True and time tested words Vidya. Simple ideas that I always try to practice but sometimes I just lose it. Still I never let go of love,communication and lots of hugs and I love you's for my 5 year old.
    Great post. You are amazing Vidya and Thanks Shailaja.

    Aditi · April 19, 2014 at 3:32 am

    Oops…Of always gets auto corrected to if

    Carol Graham · April 20, 2014 at 6:54 am

    I loved this comment

    I’ve found that treating our children with respect elicits the optimum response. Learning when to be a parent and when to be friends is key.

    Thank you – it was lovely

    Carol @ Battered Hope

    Vidya Sury · April 20, 2014 at 7:01 am

    Thank you Kathy! ♥

    Vidya Sury · April 20, 2014 at 7:02 am

    Thank you, Bantal!

    Vidya Sury · April 20, 2014 at 7:03 am

    It is true, Aditi, no matter what our shortcomings, communication is the most important thing. ♥ Thank you for your lovely comment.

    Vidya Sury · April 20, 2014 at 7:09 am

    Thank you, Carol. I felt I could tell my Mom anything, and that was such a boon! ♥

    Vidya Sury · April 20, 2014 at 7:11 am

    Hugs and love are top of the list, Inderpreet! And so easy to do with toddlers! 😀 Thank you for visiting and commenting!

    Vidya Sury · April 20, 2014 at 7:12 am

    🙂 Thank you, Vishal!

    Vidya Sury · April 20, 2014 at 7:19 am

    Thank you Ananya! Comparison, as they rightly say, is the thief of joy! ♥ Sometimes well-meant things can backfire.

    sulekkha · April 20, 2014 at 11:53 am

    Vidya, I am almost moved by your posts about your mom and how much you loved her. She taught you so well, the tips you follow are the only ones we need to make our kids grow up to be secure, happy and healthy.

    Thanks for inviting Vidya to your place, Shailaja.

    Vidya Sury · April 20, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Sulekha, what a kind comment! Thank you so much! ♥ Love achieves almost everything, as I have discovered!

    Susan Maccarelli · April 20, 2014 at 10:41 pm

    All of those are great reminders – some I need to do a better job of. Thanks as always!

    G Angela · April 21, 2014 at 10:38 am

    great post ! thanks vidya & shailaja for this ! appreciate you for sharing !

    Rajlakshmi · April 21, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    Beautiful words for a beautiful blogger Shailaja 🙂
    I loved the way you have described your mother Vidya. She sounds like an amazing woman. Wonderful parenting tips, I could actually see many were followed by my Dad and I have great respect for him. 🙂

    Vidya Sury · April 21, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    She was, Rajlakshmi! I am very lucky I had her. You're blessed too! ♥ Thank you so much for visiting and commenting!

    Vidya Sury · April 21, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    Susan, Love you for coming over 🙂 ♥

    Vidya Sury · April 21, 2014 at 12:35 pm

    Thank you, Angela!

    Psych Babbler · April 22, 2014 at 9:46 am

    The power of positive parenting — can certainly help build resilient and emotionally intelligent kids… Nice post Vidya!

    Vidya Sury · April 24, 2014 at 6:51 am

    Thank you, Psych!

    Sam · June 9, 2018 at 6:47 am

    Hi

    I loved your site (shailajav.com) and would like to contribute a well written article that your readers will love.

    Would you be keen for this?

    Cheers

    Sam

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