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Dear Gy,

It’s been a while since I wrote a letter to you, hasn’t it? When was the last time? Oh, yes. I think it was the one where I spoke to you about your tomorrows.

That one resonated with a lot of people and I am glad you enjoyed it too, although I suspect you didn’t understand most of it. Perhaps it’s because you’re too young or maybe it’s because you’re a dreamy and relaxed child.

What’s today’s letter about?

It’s partly a set of reminiscences, but mostly about celebrating that spark of life that you embody. A friend of a friend lost a child today. She was much younger than you. Reading about it brought tears to my eyes and for a whole hour afterwards, I wondered how it must feel for that mother, the father and every person who has ever met or heard about that child. If the loss of someone I didn’t even know could touch me so deeply, how much more must it hurt the one who has lost her forever?

I’m really hard on you, Gy and I know it. I get snappy when you don’t bring your books back home from school, either to study or do homework. I get irritated when you sit and toy with your breakfast, lunch and dinner, spending an hour eating food that should take just 15 minutes. It frustrates me no end when you linger over your tasks and leave them mostly unfinished. Sarcasm comes to my rescue when you leave your clothes on the floor or your toys on your study table. Annoyance overwhelms me when I walk into your bedroom expecting it to be clean and find that apparently a tornado has visited it in the last hour or so.

A Dreamy and relaxed child is a boon in so many ways. Find out why you should cherish the feeling if you have a child who slows down, smells the flowers and appreciates the good things in life.

I forget so many things that make you wonderful when I am gripped by these emotions. I must remind myself of them ever so often, like today.

To my dreamy and relaxed child, kindness, Child

I marvel at the kindness that you show animals and how you instinctively feel drawn to them. That kindness doesn’t come naturally to everyone and I feel blessed to watch you show that so comfortably! (To tell you the truth, I am fond of dogs but terrified of cows, but that’s a story for another day).

To my dreamy and relaxed child

I adore your sense of exploration.The farthest I have gone is the time three months ago when I jumped off a 20 foot platform for a Zip line ride that lasted 12 seconds. Your youth is your greatest gift. Don’t lose that sense of wonder. Ever.

I envy your innocence. Do you recall that moment when you walked into a phone booth and ‘talked’ for ten minutes to your grandfather? You were too young, all of 4, but I remember the moment like it was this morning.

I love your spontaneity! You know that moment when you saw a big, red fire truck identical to the toy your aunt gifted you? Do you remember standing here and posing in front of it, so that you would have this moment to treasure forever? I wonder when I will learn that from you.

I am terrified of slides, did you know? Oh yes, the fact that I have to trust a slippery slope to deposit me safely at the other end is too much for me! I let go of it briefly once at a water park and came careening down one and feeling absolute terror! But look at you! You’re smiling, you’re happy and you’re enjoying yourself. What’s not to love about that?

And I know that all this is you. All of these beautiful, sensitive, spark-in-the-eyes behaviour is so incredibly and uniquely you. It’s the you that emerges when you aren’t pushed, prodded, compelled. It’s the dreamy, relaxed, supremely beautiful you that I have fallen in love with, ever since the day you were born.

Remind me of these things, will you? Every single day in your own, unique way? Let me learn to treasure you for who you are and celebrate you.

You must be wondering why I’ve written this letter to you and yet put it up on the blog for everyone to read. I know many children like you and many parents like me. I understand the pull that we feel, torn as we are between our instinct to help you along and the necessity to let you be. This is for all those children and all those parents.Β There’s also another reason: Life is too short. I am not saying that in a morbid sense, but I just mean that we tend to take things for granted and forget to value them when they are around.

So, in a sense, this letter is more a reminder to myself, especially on the days I feel frustrated, angry or that there is no hope in life. It’s a way for me to look back at the wonder of childhood and look ahead at the promise of the future and realise that there is much to be savoured in this world and look for answers to the questions that plague me.

And the answer to all of those questions lies in celebrating life the way you do: dreamily, happily and without judgement.


*Image courtesy: Shutterstock

Shailaja V

Hi there! I'm Shailaja Vishwanath, a blogger with 12 years of blogging experience and a parent to a teen. I work as a digital marketing and social media consultant. From positive parenting tips to useful productivity hacks, social media advice to blogging advice, you'll find them all right here. Welcome to my blog.


Sid @ · November 15, 2015 at 6:24 am

You speak for all of us πŸ™‚
That's all I'll say!

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 15, 2015 at 6:31 am

In that hope, we write , Sid. Thank you for your kind words πŸ™‚

Aparna · November 15, 2015 at 6:41 am

Ok you set me boo-hooing again today, but these are good tears and I don't mind so much. Much love to you and to Gy <3. Definitely going to get D to read this one.

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 15, 2015 at 6:47 am

Sorry to have made you cry again, my dear πŸ™‚ Thank you for all your love and support <3 Definitely let me know what D thought of it.

artflowsinmyveins · November 15, 2015 at 7:39 am

Your son is a lucky kid Shailaja. His mom remembers those little moments and cherishes them in her heart. He's going to grow up into a loving and caring young man who'll always have a soft spot in his heart for his mom. Wifey is blubbering beside me – sending all of you love from both of us…and yes, the dog wagged her tail. She loves dog-lovers.

Rachna · November 15, 2015 at 1:07 pm

I second, Sid. πŸ™‚

sunaina sharma · November 15, 2015 at 1:55 pm

heart of a mother written down on paper…..splendid…..can relate to so many things that you wrote here….I was afraid of slides too….:)…and yes, kids are so innocent, so spontaneous, so inquisitive… of binding thoughts….:)

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 15, 2015 at 2:57 pm

Thank you for that thoughtful comment, Anand. I am hoping that she will look past my anger and sarcasm at some point and realise that I only have her best interests at heart. Thanks to the wife and little doggie too! Oh and I have a daughter πŸ™‚ I suppose that may not have been clear in the post πŸ™‚

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 15, 2015 at 3:02 pm

Glad to hear it, Rachna πŸ™‚

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 15, 2015 at 3:03 pm

Thank you Sunaina πŸ™‚ It's a reminder to myself to let go of so many things yet hold on to the hopes I have for her as a person.

Parul · November 15, 2015 at 5:28 pm

I wish Gy could read this and understand from the same lens as her Mum's.This letters shows how much you love her πŸ™‚ Beautiful!

Vinitha Dileep · November 15, 2015 at 7:05 pm

Gy is a lucky girl to have mom like you who not only understands her child as the way she is but also willing to learn from her child. Beautifully penned, Shailaja. πŸ™‚

garima · November 15, 2015 at 9:19 pm

While reading it I felt as if you have written it about me and my daughters
So much similarity and reality of every household
A lesson relearnt again πŸ™‚
Thank you

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 16, 2015 at 3:21 am

I think it may take some time for her to do so, Parul. But I am ready to wait πŸ™‚ Slowly hoping to compile all the posts into an e-book which I can gift to her in the future. Thank you so much for the warm comment.

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 16, 2015 at 3:24 am

Children are such treasure troves of wisdom, aren't they, Vinitha? I also find that she keeps me open to learning from anyone, no matter what their age or level of experience. Very humbling.

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 16, 2015 at 3:30 am

Garima, that probably is the best thing I could have read this morning. Thank you so much! It's heartening to know that we are not alone in this journey of ours πŸ™‚

Shilpa Garg · November 16, 2015 at 4:54 am

That's such a beautiful and touching letter to Gy. I am sure this is one letter which both of you would treasure always! There is so much to cherish and learn from our kids, but in our humdrum of life, we put all that on the back-burner!

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 16, 2015 at 5:36 am

I can't tell you how much I need this reminder on a daily basis now, Shilpa. The world is too much with us, as Wordsworth would say and we need to breathe and relax, the way our children do. Sigh. Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

Balaka Basu · November 16, 2015 at 7:25 am

beautifully written as usual…and this letter is a lesson for all of us

SHANAYA TALES · November 16, 2015 at 4:44 pm

This is so beautifully written. It struck a chord with me. We all need to remember the things that make our kids so wonderful, and it is easier said than done, but a reminder like this, keeps us in check. πŸ™‚

Soumya · November 16, 2015 at 5:09 pm

Awwwww, now this makes me want to have a baby! Wow, you woman! πŸ˜›

Shilpa Gupte · November 18, 2015 at 10:14 am

What a lovely letter, Shailaja!
And also, what a lesson in life to all the adults…live life child-child – like! ❀

tulika singh · November 18, 2015 at 5:00 pm

This was beautiful. Gy is one lucky girl. We are often too harsh on our kids and forget that they are just that – kids. I'm sure she'll treasure this one when she grows up and feels your love for her.

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 19, 2015 at 5:22 am

Always a lesson for me, balaka. Always πŸ™‚

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 19, 2015 at 5:24 am

Thank you Shantala. If this resonates with so many I hope it will with Gy too πŸ™‚

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 19, 2015 at 5:25 am

OOH please invite me to the baby shower πŸ˜‰

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 19, 2015 at 5:27 am

If only it were that simple to actually practise, Shilpa. We lose that quality in our endless arguments online. Such immaturity we display.

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 19, 2015 at 5:28 am

We really are, aren't we? Wonder why that is. Are we trying to ensure that they grow up to fulfil our dreams or live our lives? Makes it hard on some days, doesn't it? I hope she likes it Tulika. I do πŸ™‚

Aparna · November 19, 2015 at 5:56 am

How lovely! Thanks for the timely and important reminder…all mums need it ever so often don't they? πŸ™‚

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 19, 2015 at 6:16 am

You're welcome, Aparna πŸ™‚ Yes I think we need it especially in a world which is racing by too fast for us to keep pace and especially when our kids are the dreamy kind πŸ™‚

Vishal Kataria · November 23, 2015 at 11:20 am

If God were really kind, He would make us start life as old people (cynical and morose) and end it as children (innocent and joyful). Maybe we can draw happiness from things children do because they let us relive our childhoods.

I know it's faaaaaaar easier said than done πŸ™‚

Jaibala Rao · November 24, 2015 at 3:46 pm

You know I have come here today after having a hard day with S. I was irritated and angry at his stubbornness all evening that I forgot to notice anything else. Thank You for reminding me of the important things. Now I will go wipe my tears and kiss him, so what if he is sleeping. Oh and I am with Sid and Rachna, you do speak for all of us.

Anamika Agnihotri · November 26, 2015 at 7:26 pm

I wish we, the parents, all could be dreamy, relaxed and non judgemental as per the default setting we are born with and remain that way forever.

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 27, 2015 at 2:39 am

I love that sentiment, Vishal, but I also think that we need to hold on to our innocence and wonder as we grow older and temper it with the experience of life. There's something beautiful about being young and something incredible about growing old. Both are necessary πŸ™‚

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 27, 2015 at 2:44 am

Aww thanks Jaibala. I think there is a lot more to this parenting thing than what we see and it's okay to feel angry and frustrated too, because it's normal and completely understandable. Kids really know how to push our buttons so don't beat yourself up. I try to calm down by night and give her a kiss before she sleeps, even if we have had an argument.

Shailaja Vishwanath · November 27, 2015 at 2:54 am

I understand what you mean, Anamika. I really do πŸ™‚

How I discovered my forgetful child and learnt to help her · February 28, 2019 at 8:29 am

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