To my dreamy and relaxed child

To my dreamy and relaxed child

Dear Gy,

It’s been a while since I wrote a letter to you, hasn’t it? When was the last time? Oh, yes. I think it was the one where I spoke to you about your tomorrows.

That one resonated with a lot of people and I am glad you enjoyed it too, although I suspect you didn’t understand most of it. Perhaps it’s because you’re too young or maybe it’s because you’re a dreamy and relaxed child.

What’s today’s letter about?

It’s partly a set of reminiscences, but mostly about celebrating that spark of life that you embody. A friend of a friend lost a child today. She was much younger than you. Reading about it brought tears to my eyes and for a whole hour afterwards, I wondered how it must feel for that mother, the father and every person who has ever met or heard about that child. If the loss of someone I didn’t even know could touch me so deeply, how much more must it hurt the one who has lost her forever?

I’m really hard on you, Gy and I know it. I get snappy when you don’t bring your books back home from school, either to study or do homework. I get irritated when you sit and toy with your breakfast, lunch and dinner, spending an hour eating food that should take just 15 minutes. It frustrates me no end when you linger over your tasks and leave them mostly unfinished. Sarcasm comes to my rescue when you leave your clothes on the floor or your toys on your study table. Annoyance overwhelms me when I walk into your bedroom expecting it to be clean and find that apparently a tornado has visited it in the last hour or so.

A Dreamy and relaxed child is a boon in so many ways. Find out why you should cherish the feeling if you have a child who slows down, smells the flowers and appreciates the good things in life.

I forget so many things that make you wonderful when I am gripped by these emotions. I must remind myself of them ever so often, like today.

To my dreamy and relaxed child, kindness, Child

I marvel at the kindness that you show animals and how you instinctively feel drawn to them. That kindness doesn’t come naturally to everyone and I feel blessed to watch you show that so comfortably! (To tell you the truth, I am fond of dogs but terrified of cows, but that’s a story for another day).

To my dreamy and relaxed child

I adore your sense of exploration.The farthest I have gone is the time three months ago when I jumped off a 20 foot platform for a Zip line ride that lasted 12 seconds. Your youth is your greatest gift. Don’t lose that sense of wonder. Ever.

I envy your innocence. Do you recall that moment when you walked into a phone booth and ‘talked’ for ten minutes to your grandfather? You were too young, all of 4, but I remember the moment like it was this morning.

I love your spontaneity! You know that moment when you saw a big, red fire truck identical to the toy your aunt gifted you? Do you remember standing here and posing in front of it, so that you would have this moment to treasure forever? I wonder when I will learn that from you.

I am terrified of slides, did you know? Oh yes, the fact that I have to trust a slippery slope to deposit me safely at the other end is too much for me! I let go of it briefly once at a water park and came careening down one and feeling absolute terror! But look at you! You’re smiling, you’re happy and you’re enjoying yourself. What’s not to love about that?

And I know that all this is you. All of these beautiful, sensitive, spark-in-the-eyes behaviour is so incredibly and uniquely you. It’s the you that emerges when you aren’t pushed, prodded, compelled. It’s the dreamy, relaxed, supremely beautiful you that I have fallen in love with, ever since the day you were born.

Remind me of these things, will you? Every single day in your own, unique way? Let me learn to treasure you for who you are and celebrate you.

You must be wondering why I’ve written this letter to you and yet put it up on the blog for everyone to read. I know many children like you and many parents like me. I understand the pull that we feel, torn as we are between our instinct to help you along and the necessity to let you be. This is for all those children and all those parents.Β There’s also another reason: Life is too short. I am not saying that in a morbid sense, but I just mean that we tend to take things for granted and forget to value them when they are around.

So, in a sense, this letter is more a reminder to myself, especially on the days I feel frustrated, angry or that there is no hope in life. It’s a way for me to look back at the wonder of childhood and look ahead at the promise of the future and realise that there is much to be savoured in this world and look for answers to the questions that plague me.

And the answer to all of those questions lies in celebrating life the way you do: dreamily, happily and without judgement.


*Image courtesy: Shutterstock

642 total views, 0 views today



36 thoughts on “To my dreamy and relaxed child

  1. Ok you set me boo-hooing again today, but these are good tears and I don't mind so much. Much love to you and to Gy <3. Definitely going to get D to read this one.

  2. Your son is a lucky kid Shailaja. His mom remembers those little moments and cherishes them in her heart. He's going to grow up into a loving and caring young man who'll always have a soft spot in his heart for his mom. Wifey is blubbering beside me – sending all of you love from both of us…and yes, the dog wagged her tail. She loves dog-lovers.

  3. heart of a mother written down on paper…..splendid…..can relate to so many things that you wrote here….I was afraid of slides too….:)…and yes, kids are so innocent, so spontaneous, so inquisitive… of binding thoughts….:)

  4. Thank you for that thoughtful comment, Anand. I am hoping that she will look past my anger and sarcasm at some point and realise that I only have her best interests at heart. Thanks to the wife and little doggie too! Oh and I have a daughter πŸ™‚ I suppose that may not have been clear in the post πŸ™‚

  5. While reading it I felt as if you have written it about me and my daughters
    So much similarity and reality of every household
    A lesson relearnt again πŸ™‚
    Thank you

  6. I think it may take some time for her to do so, Parul. But I am ready to wait πŸ™‚ Slowly hoping to compile all the posts into an e-book which I can gift to her in the future. Thank you so much for the warm comment.

  7. That's such a beautiful and touching letter to Gy. I am sure this is one letter which both of you would treasure always! There is so much to cherish and learn from our kids, but in our humdrum of life, we put all that on the back-burner!

  8. I can't tell you how much I need this reminder on a daily basis now, Shilpa. The world is too much with us, as Wordsworth would say and we need to breathe and relax, the way our children do. Sigh. Thanks for reading πŸ™‚

  9. This is so beautifully written. It struck a chord with me. We all need to remember the things that make our kids so wonderful, and it is easier said than done, but a reminder like this, keeps us in check. πŸ™‚

  10. This was beautiful. Gy is one lucky girl. We are often too harsh on our kids and forget that they are just that – kids. I'm sure she'll treasure this one when she grows up and feels your love for her.

  11. We really are, aren't we? Wonder why that is. Are we trying to ensure that they grow up to fulfil our dreams or live our lives? Makes it hard on some days, doesn't it? I hope she likes it Tulika. I do πŸ™‚

  12. If God were really kind, He would make us start life as old people (cynical and morose) and end it as children (innocent and joyful). Maybe we can draw happiness from things children do because they let us relive our childhoods.

    I know it's faaaaaaar easier said than done πŸ™‚

  13. You know I have come here today after having a hard day with S. I was irritated and angry at his stubbornness all evening that I forgot to notice anything else. Thank You for reminding me of the important things. Now I will go wipe my tears and kiss him, so what if he is sleeping. Oh and I am with Sid and Rachna, you do speak for all of us.

  14. I love that sentiment, Vishal, but I also think that we need to hold on to our innocence and wonder as we grow older and temper it with the experience of life. There's something beautiful about being young and something incredible about growing old. Both are necessary πŸ™‚

  15. Aww thanks Jaibala. I think there is a lot more to this parenting thing than what we see and it's okay to feel angry and frustrated too, because it's normal and completely understandable. Kids really know how to push our buttons so don't beat yourself up. I try to calm down by night and give her a kiss before she sleeps, even if we have had an argument.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge

error: Content is protected !!
%d bloggers like this:

Parenting and Blogging Tips by email? Sign up here.

Once a week, you'll get a new post and once a month, a newsletter with features and updates.

Thank you for subscribing.

Something went wrong.