Yelling less- Day # 2

Yelling less- Day # 2

So it is the end of Day # 2 and here is the news:

I  DID IT! Yes, I managed to get through the whole day without raising my voice’s decibel level.
Was it easy since I had finished Day # 1? Not really. It took all my willpower not to give in to the urge to glare and snort fire when she defied me. But, I kept telling myself, it is a challenge. That means it won’t be easy!

Weekends are good, since they let us unwind, let go of our weekly stress and just tune out all the rush and race that make up Monday through Friday.

Once the little one was awake, I mentioned once that her ragi malt was on the table and that she could have it. Then I walked away to another room. What usually takes her 20 minutes was downed in 5. Perhaps the fact that she woke late and was probably hungrier than usual prompted that. But the good thing is, I didn’t need to remind her every 45 seconds to ‘drink it up’. So, the day began on a great note 🙂

But it wasn’t a total success. I didn’t yell, but I did lose my patience a couple of times. And though I know she liked the fact that I didn’t yell, she wasn’t too happy with the look of annoyance on my face.

The rest of the day wasn’t so bad, until later that evening, when we were cleaning up her toys. She is a 6-year-old kid and I tend to forget that when I see a messy room or carelessly strewn clothes. Today, instead of asking her to clean up the toys, I sat in her room and decided to share the work.

As luck would have it, she had thrown a little glow-ring rather carelessly on a pile of blankets. While moving the blankets, the ring slipped, fell on the floor and broke into pieces. We both looked at it and she then immediately looked at me, expecting me to bellow at her. My heart melted when I saw that look.
 I looked at the ring and said, ‘Oh no. What happened?’
She said, in a small voice,’ I broke my favourite ring. Can you fix it for me?’
Ordinarily, I would have just looked at her angrily and responded with a curt ,’No. It’s your fault for not putting it back in its place.'( Yes, I can be a terrible person!)
Instead, I said,’ Help me make your bed first and let me see if I can fix it.’
Her face managed a small smile and she eagerly helped in straightening the sheets and putting the pillow covers on.
 From what I could see, the ring looked pretty damaged. I did try putting it back together, but wasn’t too successful.
I turned to her and said, ‘I tried, but I don’t think I can fix it. Shall we keep all the pieces carefully and ask Appa to look at it when he returns? Perhaps he can fix it.’
The smile on her face widened and she readily agreed, without argument and not a tantrum in sight!

After a while, I sat her down asked her why she thought that had happened. She replied that she had not put the ring in its place and that was why it broke! The message had gotten across without my having to say it.

Starting the challenge on a Friday was probably a good idea, since I did not have the weekly routine to stress over. I did not have to push her to get ready on time or wind up her homework  all before bedtime.

So, I suppose the acid test is going to kick in on Day # 4, Monday. That being said, I do have a day out planned for tomorrow, so she needs to be up and ready rather early. Let’s see how it plays out :)Fingers crossed!

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3 thoughts on “Yelling less- Day # 2

  1. Sounds wonderful Shailaja :).. It's so much to do with stopping to think before saying isn't it.

    And believe me, the retorts you are talking about, I have done it all the time too.

  2. Yes, Aparna! The book and the Orange Rhino really help me with that. The words are on the tip of my tongue and I quite literally have to grit my teeth and clench my fists before saying something out loud, that I may regret! Taking it one day at a time 🙂

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