Dealing with Death

Dealing with Death

In early March, I lost someone very close to me- a dear aunt, who meant the world. Her death was not completely unexpected, since she had been ailing for a long time. In many ways, it was a release, since she’d seen too much pain.

When it happened, I was in the hospital. So was Gy. In my grief, I rushed in to see the body and left her behind with V.

He gently drew her close and explained in simple terms what ‘Death’ meant.

He talked about cars. About how they become old and needed to be given away. He said the body was the same way. When it became too old, it needed to go.

This was easy for her to understand, since we had recently sold our car, after ten years of use.

He then told her about the soul. He said that her great-aunt was not gone and lived inside her. She lived every time Gy excitedly wore a new dress. My aunt was a flawless seamstress. When I was born, she single-handedly stitched 28 dresses for me! She continued to stitch, sew and embroider well into her illness. Every time she saw Gy, she would beckon her towards her and take her measurements.

 ‘So, she won’t be able to make those dresses anymore?’ Her eyes brimmed with tears.

‘No, darling. But she is free from all pain now.’

With a mature look, she wiped her tears and said, ‘I think she will be happy with God.’

Watching my young child accept Death was an acknowledgement that she was growing older. She would need to face the world, its joys, its fears, its sorrows and its smiles.

And I knew, that it was the right time for her to learn this valuable lesson.

Word count: 297
The answer to the Charades post is ‘Tiger’. We were just playing with words, remember? Kudos to all of you who got it right 🙂


Written for the A to Z 2014 Challenge

D is for Dealing with Death

My theme for the month is : Introspection in shades of 11

Today’s recommendation for D is the clever Shilpa Garg and her post on Domestic Violence

Also linking this to the Ultimate Blog Challenge for April




0 thoughts on “Dealing with Death

  1. Life and death both happen and we have accept and move on. I have seen death when life was supposed to be at its blooming best. Its harsh and takes away a part of your soul but you move on and that life becomes part of a memory. Sigh!

  2. That's a very nice way to get a child to understand. I think we need to be honest with kids about death and explaining to them in the simplest possible terms is the way to go. Depending on religious beliefs, heaven and god are great ways of explaining the finality that is death. Thank you for sharing this and please accept my condolences for your loss.

  3. Appreciate the stance taken by V, to explain something so deep to Gy, in so simple terms. Her acceptance signifies understanding to a great extent 🙂 It is a painful thing to lose people, but then it's a part of life !
    Well written, Shailaja 🙂

  4. This is the first D post I am reading this morning. And I am speechless. Your daughter is a wise, old soul, Shailja. Her words reminded me of something my nephew said when he was 3 or 4, he had lost his father at the age of 2 and had a lot of questions about death.

  5. A very serious topic dealt with care and sensitivity. I agree that adults should explain in simple terms rather than hide about these eventualities…A very well written post to start the morning 🙂

  6. I love the way V handles Gy's queries and fears. It is hard for kids to understand death and dying. With our kids it's almost dinner table conversation.. 'When you die..' or 'after I die…' Not very nice at all because it kind of trivializes the whole thing. The concept of 'never coming back' hasn't sunk in yet.

  7. My condolences, Shailaja. It's hard to accept a final parting but even more so for kids experiencing it for the very first time. Loved the way you and V have dealt with it. I have your blog bookmarked as my go-to parenting guide! Thanks for sharing such a personal experience.

  8. I came to learn of that dreaded word very late in my life, and it was really tough to accept. Your husband has done a good thing by explaining it to her.

  9. What a lovely way to explain this subject that even we don't understand very well after all. Gy is sounding more and more mature :). I remember D heard about the subject very early thanks to my aunt who passed away when she was 3 – had to deal with a lot of night terrors with her worrying that I'm going to die too :(. Wish I had been creative enough to come up with such explanations …

  10. Last year I had a tough time …handling kids…when I lost one of my family members….
    The way V dealt with this is appreciable….
    Making a little one understand ….about Death is a hands on task

  11. Learning about death is a difficult transition but I like the explanation give, I also appreciated how you showed us your Aunt and her gifts.

  12. Thank you for this post. Dealing with death can be very difficult, and helping a child deal with death for the first time is a daunting endeavor. We recently lost my father, and my brother had to explain death to his five-year-old son. I don't know if the Short One got the point or not – he keeps saying how he'll see Grampa again when he comes back to life. None of us are sure if he's talking about resurrection, or about respawning like in the video games the Short One plays every chance he gets.

  13. Such a wonderful way to explain the concept of death to a child!! God bless the soul of your dear aunt!
    And thanks a ton for recommending my post, Shailaja! Appreciate it! ♥

  14. It's so hard for children to understand death at first. It's also hard on the grown-ups who have to find a way to explain it – especially when they are hurting themselves. It must have been comforting to have help with that. Thanks for sharing a touching story.

  15. Death is so hard to explain to a child…no matter how old they are. My daughter was 3 when my Dad died and she took it hard. They had been so close. She loved her Pa Pa so. I went and bought her a story book that explained it. She drew pictures for him and we put them in the casket so Pa Pa would always have them. There is no easy way to handle such a loss. We can only do the very best we can. ♥

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